Charmin To Go â€“ a small portable supply of Charmin toilet paper in a handy pull-out dispenser!!! You may be asking what the heck is a post on toilet paper doing on a food weblog but indulge me for a minute or two. First, what goes in must come out, right? And for a very rational person like Marketman, I believe that you only use the best when it is closest to home, if you know what I mean. Ever since my paycheque exceeded my spending requirements, I have paid that little extra for some premium toilet paper. I think it is a much better use of extra disposable income than say a fancy car or a snazzy pen. My friends know that I am almost pathological about keeping a good supply (say 50-100 rolls in reserve) of Charmin in the house. At the height of the post-1997 financial crisis, most stores in Manila stopped carrying this Marketman necessity and I nearly resorted to balikbayan boxes filled with rolls of Charmin shipped from the U.S.!
Ridiculous you say? Wasteful? Outrageous!? I think not. Before doing the desperate, however, a friend at the Asian Development Bank let me know that they were still selling this precious commodity in the ADB commissary so I was able to load up with the help of ADB friends. At a lovely dinner one evening, discussion turned to my â€œobsessionâ€ with Charmin and a dinner guest challenged me to pick out my Charmin in a blind toilet tissue test â€“ he was convinced I couldnâ€™t tell the difference. Blindfolded, I had to pick out my beloved Charmin from one of three different squares of toilet paperâ€¦ I SUCCEEDED, thanks, and that ended all talk about the subject. This little portable package of Charmin in the photo was a pasalubong from a dear friend who recently returned from a trip to the U.Sâ€¦ isnâ€™t it a terrific idea?
While we are on toilet paper humor, I should recount one of my most embarrassing and yet totally amusing storiesâ€¦ while in Cebu City for a day of court hearings, I was at the Ayala mall for lunch, and I subsequently had to use the bathroom and paid for the PHP10 first class version, an airconditioned oasis for pooping with lots of toilet paper (not Charmin). As inculcated by a germ-paranoid mother, I draped tissue all over the seat and on all water surfaces (so no skin touched plastic or porcelain and no splash when bombs dropped). I finished my business stood up and happily walked through the mall before my next court appearance. I got into a cab, walked through the hallways of the Cebu City courthouse and into the sala of the judge where I was to appear. A really warped looking female prisoner in handcuffs kept gesturing to me wildly and pointing at me. I was certain she was headed to the mental hospital and I tried to ignore her. Just as I rose to take the witness stand, I realized that I had a three foot long piece of toilet paper hanging out the back of my pants like a tail. Omigod, some of the draping from the earlier bathroom run had come along with me the entire afternoon!!! The prisoner was trying to do me a favor. Outrageous! This is a true story. I held my head up high, scrunched up the offending portion of toilet paper and continued on with my testimony. Some things just happen. Heeheehee.