16 Aug2009

All year long, I get lots of private emails. I do try to answer a majority of them, but I have stopped responding to emails in several types of categories. First, I rarely answer emails that are purely commercial in nature, though often I will fire off an answer that says “I don’t sell anything.” Or “you have reached marketmanila.com, a foodblog, and not a store, please direct your inquiry to the right vendor, venue, etc.” However, I do try and answer all emails that genuinely sound like they need assistance, clarification, further explanation for whatever reason. And I answer if I have something intelligent to add to the discussion. But the manner in which one phrases an email to me goes a long way towards whether I bother to reply or not. I also do not attend any PR events, business openings, accept freebies of products, food items, etc. that are CONSTANTLY being offered to me, but on this front I am consistent. I don’t take freebies and I don’t go to PR events unless I personally have a reason to be there. So those kinds of emails I rarely respond to as well, or maybe I will say simply “thanks, but no thanks”. I also don’t answer emails with patently stupid questions, of which I get an increasing number these days. Finally, there is a broad category of emails which I receive from students, from Highschool to Graduate Schools. I have received them from students in local schools and as far away as Mexico and Poland. In many cases, the students basically ask me to do their homework, often sending a list of questions that their teachers have probably given them to research. I don’t answer any of those. I also get frequent requests to help students with their theses, and sometimes I respond when i think I can be of help, other times I decline to assist due to too much being on my plate, etc. But I HAVE helped dozens of students over the years and I am happy to have done so. It takes time, and I have a limited amount, hence the picking and choosing. There is NO OBLIGATION on my part to help everyone.

Lately, however, I have been getting an increasing number of poorly worded, plaintive and inappropriate requests from students who don’t even seem to have even basic manners in place, and I rarely respond to those. There are dozens of students who are trying to confirm if the seeds of atis do indeed have a chemical which wards off lice, or the ones who want me to describe the chemical compounds in a particular fruit or vegetable, or the ones who want me to define the color spectrum of dyes in a duhat fruit. Give me a break, marketmanila.com is not a help desk for your homework. I strongly suggest you learn how to do some real, thorough research and augment that with some internet based work, if necessary. But sometimes, I get real “this takes the cake” kinds of exchanges, and I post this one in particular to discourage more of the same. I wasn’t as much angered by this example as I was saddened by the state of our national education, and the students that are in it, if I can have an exchange like this with someone claiming to be a student at U.P., one of the finest educational institutions in the country…

The first email received from “Maria” this morning 8/16/09 at 10:32 am:

“”kxxxx xxx xxxx ” Research study using siling labuyo

hi.. I am a student at UP Los Banos and am currently conducting my research study that requires me to use siling labuyo. I need as much as 5 kilos of it. is there a possibility that you can provide me with as much? I need it asap. please contact me as asap. you can email me back or text me at these numbers, 0929xxxxxxx or 0918xxxxxxx

Maria XXXXX”

Marketman responded with this email this morning 8/16/09 at 11:50 am:

“Mario, (sic)

You have written a food blog, marketmanila.com. Not a store, not a market, not a food supplier. One should exercise some care while doing research, no?

MM”

Ms. Maria, sent this second email this afternoon 8/16/09 at 1:10 pm:

“oh well.. i did not realize.. anyway i am just hoping that being the food blogger that you are, you may know some place or people that can help me look for the very item that you are blogging about. I was just looking for someone who can help me but apparently i have asked the wrong person who claims to know everything about red chili pepper.!
Know what you are an ass hole!.. You need not be rude when someone is asking you.. and it is your responsibility to answer with all modesty whatever questions your readers are asking you about.Have you been educated about ethics.. you can just tell me you don’t know, i don’t need your arrogant and nonsense reply.You just made yourself look stupid..how can you not know where to find the very item you are blogging about! “one should exercise some care while doing their research” this only applies to you! STUPID!”

Marketman answered with this email this afternoon 8/16/09 at 4:00 pm:

Maria,

“I answered you factually (though I misspelled your name). Since you claim to be doing research, all I was saying is that perhaps you would do it with some care, instead of just firing off an email for help from a website that happens to feature a spice/vegetable which you are writing about. I rarely answer questions from readers that are commercial in nature, or which pretty much ask me to help them with their homework. And if you read your original email with care, you do not ask me to help you locate a supplier, you specifically say “is there are possibility that you can provide me with as much?” I didn’t realize asking a stranger for help with two “asaps” constitutes a polite and proper plea for assistance. And by the way, nary a thank you from you for whatever little information you may have gleaned from my post, here, which was based on my own research, for the open use of everyone who visits the site. Presumably you will quote marketmanila.com as a source if you use any of the information that was cited on that post.

Frankly, you are the misguided and impetuous fool who made the wrong presumption to begin with, and made it worse with a follow up email that is absurd to the max. It pains me that students of a school of such a caliber as the University of Philippines would comport themselves in this manner. And unluckily for you, I do feel strongly about U.P., as one uncle happens to have been the Dean of Fine Arts and another uncle, the President of the University of the Philippines some years back. So I am forwarding your two emails to Dean Dr. Domingo E. Angeles, who hopefully is still the current Dean of the College of Agriculture at UP Los Banos, so he can see just what kind of primary research his students are doing and the manner in which they are doing it.

Maybe if you had just gone to a local market or two or a farm in your area perhaps you now wouldn’t be in this ridiculous situation. That’s where I find the produce I write about, I don’t look on the internet for produce suppliers. :)

I trust you will have a lovely week ahead of you. Perhaps as part of your research you may want to try chopping up some siling labuyo, then forget to wash your hands, then touch your private parts. Now THAT is indeed RUDE.

Regards,

Marketman

P.S. Check marketmanila.com by Monday for a post on this matter, which will include your emails to me in full. I hope others from U.P. Los Banos see this for what it is.”

Ms. Maria just sent me another email as I was writing this post on 8/16/09 at 4:32 pm:

“hi again, thank you for answering me.
By the way, just so you know. My mother is the one who is needing the pepper, she is the one who’s doing the research and i am helping her. she doesn’t have any knowledge whatsoever about this conversation. and i do not want to implicate her being the student of UP. And so i ask that we keep this among ourselves.
i was taken a back by the way you answered my inquiry, and so i have been defensive. I know i have said foul words and I am sorry for that. it’s just that i have been looking all over the place for the chili pepper, and i was hoping that someone could help me and you answered me rudely.
for whatever it causes you,i apologize. i just hope this stops here. I believe we are both intelligent people to settle things out without including people who are not concern with the situation.
i do not want to cause anymore trouble with you posting this on your site. let’s just be discreet and solve this in right and proper manner. i don’t mean any harm.

thank you. I hope you understand.
I hope to hear from you again.”

Marketman answered with this email at 4:36 pm:

“The die is cast. Post up in a few minutes. You should have thought about your email before you sent it.

MM”

And another email from Ms. Maria at 4:49 pm:

“ok, i just hope this makes you happy. one request though, can you just leave my mother and her school out of this? she doesn’t know anything and since i am not from UP, i think it is unfair to drag them in this issue so let’s leave them out of this. hope you understand.
and please, if you are really sure about posting my emails in your site, make sure to post yours as well.
thank you for being responsive.. again i apologize…”

Now is that ridiculous or is that RIDICULOUS? So shortly after the Macintosh post the other day, first “Ms. Maria” claims she lies that she is a student. Then insists that I help her find chili “asap” and “asap” then when she receives my short reply, she blows up and all manner of foul language is used. Then when I respond, she answers with a story of woe that it is in fact her mother that is the student and begs me to ignore all of the previous exchanges. Sorry Maria, that isn’t how things work around here. Ask for help in a proper manner. Do not ever lie to get what you want. Do not assume you can call others names without any consequences. Some may think I have smacked you hard with a fishpan by writing this post. But hopefully you will have learned a simple lesson or two today.

So instead of outright sending Ms. Maria’s emails to Dean Dr. Domingo Angeles of the College of Agriculture at UP Los Banos, I will give my REGULAR commenters a chance to weigh in with their opinions… So marketmanila.com regulars, what do you think I should do? Believe Ms. Maria’s later emails that she is not the student and accept Ms. Maria’s hastily and poorly structured apology(ies) or go ahead and send the emails to the Dean of Agriculture at UP? I will only accept comments from people who have commented before, in other words, I will not allow comments in from first time commenters on this particular post to prevent “vote padding”. I am curious if readers think I should condone Ms. Maria’s behavior or let her face the full consequences of her actions/emails.

NOTE: I have done a follow up to this with the actions I have taken. Scroll down the comments to about the 100th comment to see what I have decided. Thank you very much to all that have left comments on this post.

I have also decided to remove Maria’s last name, which I gather is a real one, and the name of her daughter as I believe the right lessons have been learned. I have also removed their cell phone numbers which I gather were real and legitimate. I have left the post up however so that others can learn from it.

 

COMMENTS:

  1. ntgerald says:

    I think you should go ahead and send the email to the Dean of the College of Agriculture of UPLB.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 5:33 pm

     
  2. izang says:

    Hi MM,

    She bit off too much cake I guess. Am I confused or, when she says it’s her mother, was it her mother typing? If her mother “does not know of the conversation”, what is she telling her mother on how she is helping her?

    I say post it to the Dean, if it is not really her, she is safe, but if not, then sorry…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 5:44 pm

     
  3. MaryAnne says:

    lol – wow, MM. I would not want to get on your bad side.

    I don’t have much sympathy for Ms. Maria, because I find it inexcusable to use that sort of language when conducting ANY sort of correspondence, business or personal (especially with regards to email communication!)

    As for the excuse of her mom needing the peppers, I feel like she’s most definitely back-peddling on this one.

    I also find it thoroughly hilarious that her tone got very polite and formal, once you threatened to report her to the deans (and this is also why I think she is the student). I have to say, I am voting for you to submit the emails to deans at UP, not because I’m the vindictive type, but because I think her foul language and tone in her initial email was truly appalling.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 5:47 pm

     
  4. ykmd says:

    I agree, that language is inexcusable – my vote is yes.
    (Coming from a UP grad)

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:15 pm

     
  5. Jenny says:

    or she could really be a student but just used her mother to escape being reported to UPLB. i vote – email UP!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:16 pm

     
  6. terrey says:

    i think she is on some kind of drugs…better send to the Dean! youngsters should know, discreet or not, calling people A-hole is never ever cool!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:17 pm

     
  7. naghihingalo says:

    Ang tamad at bast*s naman ni Donya Maria!

    Aba, e tignan niyo naman kung anong sinabi ni Donya:

    “…and it is your responsibility to answer with all modesty whatever questions your readers are asking you about.”

    Tapos sinundan pa ng:

    “…it’s just that i have been looking all over the place for the chili pepper…”

    Hindi naman mahirap hanapin ang siling labuyo, no?

    Kung ako sa inyo, MM, ipapadala ko iyan sa UP! Nang matuto naman si Donya Maria ng tamang ugali.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:17 pm

     
  8. Jazzie says:

    Hi,

    It’s my first time to read your blogs. I know you will not publish my comment but I do agree with you when you advised her to be careful when conducting a research. I pity the carelessness of people like her.Students are becoming more internet dependent which is a bit of shame really. Not everything we need can be found in the internet. There are things that we do need to physically check, do a bit of leg work.

    In her case she could’ve just checked out ‘”siling labuyo” in some nearby wet market. I’ve been away from Manila/PH for quite sometime but I do still know where to get “siling labuyo”. I can sense laziness and sort internet addiction on the tone of her e-mail.

    Regards

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:22 pm

     
  9. Joey Pacheco says:

    lesson learned. let’s be magnanimous :-)

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:24 pm

     
  10. j. says:

    Ultimately, for someone who firmly stated in her first e-mail that she is a student of said university, she seems to have forgotten two things: gravitas and grammar. Horrible grammar, and certainly a very inappropriate request and response. She might just be an ersatz student of UP Los Banos!
    I can find five kilos of birds eye chillies/ siling labuyo(easily) here in the SF Bay Area, where it should be a bit difficult to find. I say send it off to the dean anyway! It might just save UP a great deal of embarassment, plus it might just be illegal to lie about such things (I don’t live there nor do I purport to be somesort of Phillipine legal hawk), if not illegal then certainly inappropriate! What a quandary for poor Ms. Maria!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:31 pm

     
  11. sallyb says:

    please send the e-mail.

    I’m compelled to defend my school. She needs to be weeded out of UP. Such as disgrace to my alma mater!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:31 pm

     
  12. sanojmd says:

    hi, marketman.. i am just appalled.. deeply saddened by ms maria’s email.. that is so ridiculous of you ms. maria to acquire your specimen or your “mother’s” specimen for her thesis for that matter.. I AM A BONAFIDE UPLB ALUMNUS AND I’D SAY MM KINDLY SEND THE EMAIL TO THE DEAN OF AGRICULTURE.. AS FOR YOU MS MARIA.. IKINAHIHIYA KITANG taga-elbi.. YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE UP SYSTEM ESPECIALLY LB..MORESO, TO THE WHOLE NATION.. YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE A SCHOLAR NG BAYAN! AND I DON’T BUY YOUR EXCUSE.. pls send the email MM..

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:42 pm

     
  13. Toping says:

    There is no excuse for rude behavior and some people need to learn that the hard way. Fire off that email, MM. She had it coming.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:46 pm

     
  14. kerie says:

    MM, I think you should send the emails to the Dean. This should serve a good lesson to people lacking manners. Who the he’ll she think she is by asking a favour and demand asap asap? Also, I don’t believe that it’s actually Maria’s mum doing the research, I think the mum is matured enough to know where to buy those friggin chillis.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 6:56 pm

     
  15. mina says:

    for what it’s worth, i just did some online stalking (bad habit!) and it seems there *is* a xx year old woman named maria xx, currently studying at UPLB, with a daughter who looks young enough to have written those emails…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:06 pm

     
  16. Ging says:

    I am a graduate of UPLB and I say go ahead and send that letter to the dean, MM! People like these are lazy, rude, and absolutely have no right to enjoy the privilege of being an iskolar ng bayan. I am fiercely proud of being a UPLB alumnus and I am outraged by this girl’s sass.

    Maria, you bring shame to the university. Siling labuyo? You can even find them growing outside the dormitories. Use what little brains you have and not your evil typing fingers.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:10 pm

     
  17. Marketfan says:

    Whew…that was close. I thought she really was from UP and that was embarassing. Glad to know she is not a bonafide iskolar ng bayan. Please deal with the letter to the Dean as you wish. This should serve as a lesson to some people.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:10 pm

     
  18. asunta says:

    MM, this is your site and you set the rules. the only thing required is for us readers to observe etiquette and it doesnt take so much to be polite when you need help. sadly this is missing in this generation today. it was a rude awakening for her.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:14 pm

     
  19. Ging says:

    I just might forward the letter to the dean myself. I AM fuming MAD!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:15 pm

     
  20. hungrycurious says:

    My jaw dropped at “being the food blogger that you are”… and stayed that way while reading the rest of the emails. I think you should still send a letter to the dean as I believe this is not the first time you get requests like this from students claiming to be from UP. I remember reading a similar request in the comments section from something you posted around 2005. Actually, this is a problem teachers have nowadays. Most students now do their research on the internet without going to the library or other primary sources. The worst go to only one source – wikipedia.

    I’m still shaking my head in disbelief at her audacity. She does win an award for the most inappropriate use of “asap”!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:24 pm

     
  21. whackerZ says:

    I went to UP Diliman in the 80s. I say forward the emails, MM. Let her/her mother and the dean sort it out. Some poeple think that they can be rude and obnoxious and hide behind the anonymity of email/SMS/etc… there is no excuse for that kind of behaviour

    Aug 16, 2009 | 7:40 pm

     
  22. Jade186 says:

    I’d say you could send the letter to the Commission on Higher Education (CHED) and to the Department of Education as well.
    Letters coming from such individuals are mere impostors who not only inadvertently (even intentionally) taint my former University’s reputation, but also reflect the poor ethical and educational standards of the majority of the Philippine youth nowadays. Thanks for bringing this out, MM, something must be done.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:06 pm

     
  23. Thel says:

    Please Forward her email “ASAP”!!!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:21 pm

     
  24. bernadette says:

    I recall that we were taught letter-writing even in elementary. How it starts with “dear sir” and interspersed with “kindly” and “hoping for your kind consideration” and ending with “yours truly.” Is it a dead art?

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:24 pm

     
  25. ann says:

    Forward the email to the dean, nakakahiya yung ginawa nya. No excuse for using foul language in any correspondence.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:29 pm

     
  26. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    What??!!!! No chili pepper in the entire UPLB campus? Maria, look in the mirror and you will see the biggest fool in town!!!

    MM, please forward the email to the dean and cc the UP president as well. She deserves a bunch of chili pepper shoved up her behind.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:31 pm

     
  27. shalimar says:

    Opps thats rude. I get a lot of emails too on my blog asking for this and that.. I do have helped some people but I also got an email of a student asking for help about leche flan thought about the recipe and how.. but much more like a research.

    Cant they do their homework? ;)

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:37 pm

     
  28. gracebayan says:

    Definitely send it to the dean. Your reply to her first email did not warrant such a nasty email.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:39 pm

     
  29. james says:

    The emails were rude but I don’t think Maria has to be punished so severely. Forwarding the emails to the dean seems too extreme.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:45 pm

     
  30. becoolano says:

    “I believe we are both intelligent people to settle things out without including people who are not concern with the situation.”
    intelligent daw sya, naman, pls send it MM para matauhan sya o kung totoong nanay nya nga, saksakan pala sya ng bobo!

    Aug 16, 2009 | 8:51 pm

     
  31. thefool says:

    very, very rude and totally uncalled for. however, she’s young. i say, lesson learned and let’s move on. wouldn’t want to mess around with a young girl’s future because of one stupid mistake.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:02 pm

     
  32. rvinno says:

    Forward it to the dean. A UP student or a daughter of one, her reply is inexcusable…

    Dapat mabawasan na ang mga ignorante at bastos na tao sa mundo. The internet has spawned a lot of people like that because they under the impression that they wouldn’t and couldn’t be caught personally. Prove them wrong marketman.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:04 pm

     
  33. JE says:

    I thought we taught our students better than this.

    Send it.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:04 pm

     
  34. meng says:

    mm, isumbong sa dean!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am reallllllllly mad. such a BASTOS person. so demanding and so rude. hey why not bombard her with text messages teaching her manners and right conduct. to text or not to text thats the next question. hehehehe

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:16 pm

     
  35. cumin says:

    Condone? No, write UP.

    Like other readers, I’m pissed off at Ms Maria’s behaviour but more than that I’m confused. Why look for pepper online and not in the market?

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:25 pm

     
  36. susie b says:

    Frankly, what would sending the exchange to the dean accomplish except to embarrass her mother, if indeed it is her mother who is the student? I would imagine that the threat to do so is lesson enough for a rather obnoxious young girl to learn from. She doesn’t seem the sharpest knife in the block (who doesn’t think of checking out a local market first?) and granted, she was quite rude but sending the exchanges to the dean and president???

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:29 pm

     
  37. Marketman says:

    meng, no please, let’s NOT send her texts. I only published the emails in full to be comprehensive and factual. All emails were published verbatim…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:31 pm

     
  38. zena says:

    Granted that it is her mother and not herself who is a student, it is the mother’s/student’s command responsibility to whatever happens to her project and the people who gather data (in this case the product of chili peppers) for her. I am a UP MLA alum and was a professor for 8 years including advising thesis groups. We teach them how to conduct research (NOT wikipedia)and even how to write letters to people from whom they might need assistance. And when a student from another group emailed me a request for assistance in a a very casual manner, I sure as heck told their adviser about it after replying that casual e-mails was not the way to go about asking for help. So go and send the email, MM.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:34 pm

     
  39. Marketman says:

    HI EVERYONE, JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE ALLOWED IN ALL 7 FIRST TIME COMMENTS RECEIVED ON THIS POST CONTRARY TO WHAT I STATED IN THE MAIN POST ABOVE. I DID THIS AS THEY SEEMED VERY REASONABLE AND HAD GOOD ARGUMENTS BOTH FOR AND AGAINST, SO I THOUGHT IT BEST TO LET THEM ALL THROUGH. Thanks.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:37 pm

     
  40. Divina says:

    I agree with the others who left their comments about Ms. Maria’s behavior. Actually, she doesn’t really have the right to write like that. She should have stopped when you first replied to her. And also she wrote with a disrespect on her first email to you. Why would she ask you to provide her the siling labuyo in the first place if your website is a food information, recipes, ideas in the first place. She even has the nerve to write back a few times and called your stupid. My opinion is forward the letter to the dean but forget about sending her text messages. Regards.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:39 pm

     
  41. Franky says:

    Wow. Really. It’s just sad when people think they can say whatever they want on the internet because of the mistaken belief of relative anonymity.

    “Maybe if you had just gone to a local market or two or a farm in your area perhaps you now wouldn’t be in this ridiculous situation. That’s where I find the produce I write about, I don’t look on the internet for produce suppliers. :)” – any logical and resourceful person would have thought of this first and yet she had to be reminded of this option. The smiley face cracks me up.

    Personal attacks aside and for the sake of academic interests, I wonder what the research study was about.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:41 pm

     
  42. Marketman says:

    Franky, hopefully, the study was how to preserve the native labuyo, rather than the proliferation of the “Taiwanese” larger variety of bird’s eye chili that is flooding the market. The really classic small traditional labuyo is fantastic, and I hope it is propagated more than the new fangled hybrids…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:44 pm

     
  43. Thumbbook says:

    I say send the email! That was really rude! This should teach her a lesson on courtesy and good manners.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:44 pm

     
  44. odie says:

    Please send the email MM. Ms. Maria should learn her lesson. There is no excuse for a bad behavior.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:45 pm

     
  45. danny says:

    I agree that she was out of bounds and then try to cover up her lies which it makes looks so ridiculuos, stupid and so childish I would say send the the email to the Dean but I think exposing her in your website is worst. I don’t believe she’s genuinely sorry but she’s trying to get away from a bad to worst situation. My take from this is, she learned her lesson well. I don’t know this woman but I can see it from your heart that your a nice person who has a better standard, dealing with this woman is just a waste of time.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:46 pm

     
  46. pbp says:

    This just shows how kids are today. Everything has to be handed them asap! They have so much time to surf the net, but too lazy to buckle down and do proper research.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:47 pm

     
  47. Franky says:

    Ah. I was not aware of that sir. Thank you for that interesting tidbit.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 9:52 pm

     
  48. Marketman says:

    Franky, sorry, I didn’t mean to give you the impression I knew the actual topic of the thesis… but I HOPED that it was about that… Thanks. :)

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:01 pm

     
  49. nicole says:

    I suggest you send her emails to the dean.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:05 pm

     
  50. joyce says:

    i vote for sending the email to the dean. to make the school aware how students have been conducting their research and using the school’s name in vain. puzzling though that she would look to the internet for peppers, i would presume she( or her mom) would have better access to suppliers on campus.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:07 pm

     
  51. titashi says:

    MM please send the e-mail. I went to UPLB also and what this person did to you is not a laughing matter.

    But deep in my heart I am wishing that she is not really from UPLB, because what she did is a disgrace not just to all UP(LB) graduates but to the whole UP system as well.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:10 pm

     
  52. Fabian M says:

    it’s very likely that in the near future, anytime “Maria xxxxx” is Googled, this blog entry will come out near the top of the list.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:13 pm

     
  53. Martine says:

    I DO feel bad for you, MM, that you had to deal with such an immature case!

    Pathetic student behavior such as this does not surprise me.
    Being a private tutor, I myself work with students both in high school and in college, and I am appalled at how lazy, over-dependent, and Internet-“unsavvy” some of the kids in this generation have become. Ms. Maria could use some pointers on online etiquette, but I say she could do fine with a good word-whopping! (Loved your curt yet still decorous response to her :)

    As it were, I would send her emails to the school. Being a part of a school faculty, I understand how badly this type of behavior reflects on the school; NO ONE should be able to get away with lies, fibs, or plain bad manners. Then again, I suppose Ms. Maria has suffered humiliation enough via this post, so I think it could suffice for punishment. Let it be a lesson to other students out there though.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:17 pm

     
  54. Batangueno says:

    Hahahahaa! Katawa-tawa naman po itong post n’yo. Ala eh, bakeyn baga ganyan ang ating mga kabataan ngayon? Eh, ay nakakabanas eh. Ang inyong abang lingkod ay nag-aral din sa UPLB bagamat hindi po ako doon nagtapos ng kolehiyo.

    Ipapadala ko ang link na’to sa aking kapatid na kailan lamang ay Associate Dean ng CA sa Los Banos.

    Tiyo n’yo pa la si “Billy.” Siya po ay kasamahan ng aking tatay sa UP College of Fine Arts.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:21 pm

     
  55. aleli says:

    Don’t send the email. Be magnanimous in victory. Your point is already well taken. Give the brat a break and maybe she’ll learn from this lesson without destroying her future.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:23 pm

     
  56. rvinno says:

    @Fabian M

    as of now, if you google “Maria xxxx”, this comes out as the 10th on google search..

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:25 pm

     
  57. nayannika says:

    Oh my gulay! Nakakainis naman yan. Way back in high school, we were already taught on the proper ways of requesting help. Although I don’t believe that Ms. Maria (if she’s the student) should be harshly punished by the dean, I think it’s only appropriate that she be reprimanded by either her adviser or the dean himself.

    And if by chance, her mom is indeed the student, then notifying the dean would make her aware of her daughter’s uncouth behavior. Embarrassing it may be, but if I were the mom, I’d rather know this so I can give my daughter a piece of my mind (habang pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko na hindi siya sabunutan at kurutin sa singit. lol) and hopefully, I can still teach her proper manners.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:27 pm

     
  58. KitKat says:

    Send it! You already told her you would so you have to follow through. Otherwise your words would just be words – an empty threat. One thing I’ve learned as a parent is to never threaten consequences I cannot or will not enforce.

    And since I’m ranting on the internet anyway…I just wanna comment on using wikipedia as a primary source. It appalls me how Yes magazine, who bills themselves as the foremost magazine in the Philippines, consistently uses wikipedia as a source for their articles. .And they call themselves journalists??? My 3rd grade son knows better than to do research on that site. What is our country coming to?

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:36 pm

     
  59. natie says:

    what a fresh young woman…kinda scary to leave the future of the world to the likes of this one.. preska!!! she took that song “express yourself” to heart…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:39 pm

     
  60. RoBStaR says:

    I vote for lesson learned..Since sending the email would harm her mother more than her, considering her mother had no knowledge of this. Maria is not directly associated to UPLB, sending the email would only harm her mother trying to better her situation in life by getting an education.
    We were all young once and if anyone here can say they haven’t done one or two stupid things in their life… then.. let he/she cast the first stone.
    Posting her email on your blog should be enough.
    Give her the fishpan award and move on.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:41 pm

     
  61. meng says:

    ok no txt message mm, but i hope she really learned her lesson.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:43 pm

     
  62. silly lolo says:

    Ay, Mr. MM. Why and how do you attract these people and/or situations?! Clearly, there is no “L” (for loser) tattoed on your forehead!
    Initially, I thought the girl had a lot of “chutzpah”, which can be good. But then she got crude and sassy which sucks! So you cut her off cleanly at the knees!
    The cut was so smooth and slick, she didn’t even know she got cut. I say let her bleed on her knees for a while. Maybe, just maybe, she learns something from all this. Keep that bolo knife handy because there’s a lot of ’em out there! I jeep mine handy and very sharp at all times. Peace.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:50 pm

     
  63. Hermz says:

    Oh dear, bakit naman kasi di nalang sya pumuntang market. Laziness + bad manners = uh-uh.

    Yep, I think you should send the e-mails to the Dean Mr MM.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:55 pm

     
  64. Marketman says:

    silly lolo, as usual, wisdom shines through. I may surprise readers with my final move on this issue, but will wait till tomorrow to let everyone know as i need to get some sleep. But thanks everyone for such rapid fire responses. I have RARELY gotten 60+ comments on a post on a lazy Sunday afternoon/evening… :)

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:56 pm

     
  65. tanya says:

    I think that she should be made accountable for actions. Especially since she was the one who sought you ought in the first place, then had the gall to send you that awful follow up email.
    She should accept the consequences of her actions. Even if she was sending it one her mother’s behalf. At least this way her mom will find out what kind of crap she does on the world wide web.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 10:57 pm

     
  66. Kxxxx xxxx says:

    Hi.. I am Kxxxx xxxx, I am the one who sent him those emails, i have read all the comments and i feel very much responsible for what i did. I am sober at the moment and i could not believe what my stupid actions might have caused my mother. Again as i have said, she doesnt know anything about this, she happens to ask for my assistance regarding where to find a bulk order of siling labuyo,since it is not very much available in the market. And i have resorted to looking for dealers or someone who might have an idea where to find in the internet. And i am overwhelmed when i found the site, to which i sent and email asking for the material, i have used the word “asap” since i need it as soon as possible. I am really sorry for calling him names, i have been defensive. This is something my mother cannot accept, she has been working so hard for her studies and i don not want to cause her education. I have learned my lesson real hard. i just want to spare my mother form all my stupidity.
    Again I apologize…

    Aug 16, 2009 | 11:07 pm

     
  67. Tracy Sison Torre says:

    Maria (or her daughter) has learned her lesson and has been shamed in a public forum.

    I agree with Joey Pachecho and Aleli–be magnanimous.

    If your daughter acted with such poor manners (which I’m sure she wouldn’t do), would you want someone to address the issue appropriately (which you have already done) or tell her dean of school and potentially jeopardize her education?

    Aug 16, 2009 | 11:21 pm

     
  68. marilen says:

    So saddened by the lack of honesty, good manners nowadays. MM, you responded admirably as always. I trust it comes from family upbringing.

    Aug 16, 2009 | 11:25 pm

     
  69. mixxy says:

    I think you just received an email from an Internet Troll. Just google, if you are not familiar with them. As they say, don’t feed the trolls. Rgds, Mixxy

    Aug 16, 2009 | 11:42 pm

     
  70. edel says:

    What happened to GMRC?

    Aug 16, 2009 | 11:59 pm

     
  71. julie says:

    I vote send forward her email to the dean. Sadly this attitude seems to be the norm among the young generation nowadays. Individuals who feel entitled, who are rude and disrespectful, void of etiquette and expects everything to be handed to them. She can learn from this mistake now and be a better person.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:02 am

     
  72. Cathy says:

    I agree with RoBStaR and Tracy. Hopefully the young woman has learned her lesson. The problem is that some people assume that anonymity on the internet means that they can do as they please without any repurcussions.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:05 am

     
  73. Raica says:

    Hi mm. I (as well as my sister and friends) have been reading your blog ever since. This is the first time that I will leave a comment. I know first time commenters are not allowed but I am a UPLB alumnus and I simply must. :) I must say that whichever angle you look at it, the person who e-mailed you has been rude and downright disrespectful (especially she’s the one asking for help!). Her actions are immature; harsh words very uncalled for. I have to agree with the others, writing this whole post is the way to teach a lesson. I hope this matter will be resolved soon.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:06 am

     
  74. jafores says:

    I think sending the post is appropriate as we should be responsible for our actions, Also I feel that if the request for keeping this private were more conciliatory maybe I would have recommended otherwise. Seems like a little arrogance was still present in the request. As for consequences, I think this will only affect Ms. Asela if she were both the author and the student. If she were just the daughter I’m sure the only one that will be censured will be the author by the mother and not the student by the school as no harm would have brought to the school if it were not a students doing.

    The harm here if she is not the student is to the author only. If she were the student then as a student of the school she should get what she deserves.

    IMHO this is not about humiliation or retribution BUT about being responsible for our actions. Specially lately, I think this is a lesson that we as a people need to be reminded of.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:08 am

     
  75. aggy says:

    seems like she is telling a bunch of lies…i am embarrassed by the rudeness. i was also a UP student many years ago. please forward her emails to the dean. she needs a lesson. also why does she have to drag her mother into the mess she made?

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:08 am

     
  76. calorie-shmalorie says:

    One time my 3 yr old nephew wanted something and forgot to ask politely, his mom raised an eyebrow and said in a stern voice, “what’s the magic word??”. He got stumped, thought about it a few seconds, and beaming at his mama, said loudly, “Magic word!!” hehe. He got his stuff eventually after a reminder on how ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ go a long way.

    Its a good thing you did this post MM. Hopefully the topic gets discussed around campuses by students and professors alike. The laziness of people in doing their research, the spoonfed mentality, the rudeness, and oh! the grammar!! I’ve been inching my way across your archives and i cringe whenever i see the out-of-place requests.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:19 am

     
  77. 4btiddy says:

    Assuming that it is truly her mother who is the student needing the siling labuyo, how odd that she (the mom) wouldn’t know where to find them. All she needed to do was make a trip to the palengke and ask the manangs where she could buy 5k of it.

    I also don’t get why, in her first email, she was asking MM to provide her with the labuyo??? Was she asking for a donation? And if so, bakit bastos siya? Humihingi ka na nga lang, may pa-asap-asap ka pa Maria. You, Maria, are the one who apparently was not educated about ethics.

    Being a parent myself, I believe in teaching my children that there are consequences to good & bad choices that they make. Maria (or her daughter) made bad choices in her emails to MM and I think this post by MM is punishment enough for her. I really hope that she reads all the comments and learns a thing or two, and realize how terribly spoiled & ill-mannered she sounded.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:28 am

     
  78. anton says:

    I think she’s just lying about her mother being the real student… It would do her good if you send an email to the dean but it would sure jeopardize her education… I’m sure she already learned a lesson through this post.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:39 am

     
  79. kit says:

    Hi MM. iska din ako from college of home econ, diliman. So is my sis who also happen to be an associate prof before she resigned to finish her phd overseas. after reading your post i remembered how a prof instilled on us students ethics and values. kasi nawawala na daw yun, and the college are receiving calls from alumni about fresh grads applying for work without manners, and can’t effectively communicate. this was confirmed by my sis, and also another sad fact that even in UP students are becoming more dependent on cutting and pasting articles from the net. ewan kung talagang tamad na, hindi na marunong magconduct ng research, or talagang nawalan na ng initiative to seek higher learning and doing it the proper way. spoon feeding na lang para mas madali click na lang sa internet instead of going to the library and reading books, journals, research papers, and even micro films. i am not against surfing the net for research or other educational purposes, this is the 21st century. pero nasasa tao na yun how the person can make it useful or destructive.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:41 am

     
  80. Jannah says:

    The die is cast. Forward it to Dean Dr. Domingo Angeles of the College of Agriculture at UP Los Banos.
    So that she will learn her lesson and the others who might do it again in the future, if in case there will be know that their bad behavior have repercussion.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:53 am

     
  81. Mari says:

    Hi MM! This probably will come late as you’ve already made a decision. I would be in the same predicament if I got that e-mail from someone. It’s such a DUH??? on her request for a 5 kilo of siling labuyo from a food blogger! I think if I wrote that and you replied to tell me that you are not a supplier, I would certainly be most embarrassed to have written it. That said, I would just thank you for replying…and it’s done. For her to write back and say you are such a… that was way out of line. I would consider sending it to the Dean, but then again thinking about it, just by posting it on the blog is embarrassing enough and hopefully she’s learned her lesson well. I know in spite, people would really want to send this e-mail to the Dean…but it will never end.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 1:07 am

     
  82. Good Life says:

    Please send the e-mail

    Aug 17, 2009 | 1:26 am

     
  83. Dennis S says:

    I think Maria is actually the mother, and her kid goes to UPLB. I’m not sure what she’s trying to do. Maybe she just wants free siling labuyo, or she’s doing her kid’s homework for her. But I would just leave the issue where it stands right now. No sense in giving Maria’s rudeness any more underserved exposure.
    And besides I believe somehow, someway this MM post would get to the UP Dean anyway.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 1:38 am

     
  84. GayeN says:

    I vote YES to sending the email.

    I felt sad when I read Ms. Maria’s email. A lot of teens and young adults these days seemed to have forgotten good manners and right conduct like how to treat other people with respect and courtesy. tsk tsk

    Aug 17, 2009 | 1:49 am

     
  85. denise says:

    I say send it and teach them a lesson…geez if “it” is attending UPLB…then “it” has access to ALOT of good markets in nearby towns and provinces…

    My bestfriend and her brother, who attended UP Mindanao, had to go off in swamp areas in Agusan just to do their research on water bacteria…what is 5 friggin kilos of siling labuyo?

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:17 am

     
  86. moni says:

    Good that you posted the emails. Ms. Maria needs a reprimand for having the gall to be outright rude. Gosh! I’m a graduate of both UP Diliman and UPLB too so please go ahead and forward Ms. Maria’s email to the UPLB College of Agriculture dean and to the UPLB Vice Chancellor — Dr. Rey Velasco.

    I run a pro bono thesis/research coach in my blog but I have not come across such rudeness. Many times I get urgent requests from students for their homework and I tell them that as a matter of policy I don’t do any student’s homework. But I have never received a reply like Ms. Maria’s demanding why I run a blog and refuse to do student’s homework.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:25 am

     
  87. mina says:

    while we’re on the topic, i’d just like to add that i’ve actually read a supreme court decision that cited wikipedia as a resource!!! hehehe. i’m thinking the justice who penned it probably isn’t familiar with wikipedia and just trusted his staff as to its reliability.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:51 am

     
  88. Joey in Dubai says:

    Don’t hold it….send the email to the UP dean so that she learns: 1) how to write politely; 2) how to research properly; and 3) how to be a PERSON!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:59 am

     
  89. Bong says:

    Kids today!!! No manners, don’t believe in hard work, want everything handed to them… and to ask so arrogantly then blames Mom when caught in a sticky situation!!! Send the e-mail to the Dean!!!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 3:53 am

     
  90. Chat says:

    Hi MM, I think you should send it. If you don’t she may just think na naisahan ka niya sa pagsisinungaling niya obvious naman pong gumagawa na siya ng kwento e. Iisipin niya lang na tinatakot mo lang siya, win win situation naman po yun for your side. Just my 2cents , thanks :)

    Aug 17, 2009 | 3:55 am

     
  91. luna miranda says:

    Ms. Maria has a bad case of inflated sense of entitlement, and she should be held accountable for her actions. i hope you’d send the email to the dean. let her and her mother sort it out with the dean. nakakahiya s’ya! kahit hindi pa sy’a taga-UP, nakakahiya pa rin s’ya!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:07 am

     
  92. THELMA says:

    it’s just proper that you expose the rudeness of this person. her actions are so appalling and even lying just to get out of the situation. even if she’s a scholar and the smartest person on earth, her poor manners and smart alec attitude will bring her nowhere.please send the letter to the dean of the college of agriculture…

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:11 am

     
  93. zaN says:

    Send the e-mail to the Dean BUT NOT the intention of ruining her. Maybe a lecture from the faculty regarding proper research and ethics (emphasis on the value of telling the TRUTH) would serve as a precautionary warning to all students in Ms. Maria’s class will suffice.

    Now that the ‘WARNING’ is out, NO more MERCY next time.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:29 am

     
  94. Lilibeth says:

    Marketman, I strongly suggest you send those emails to the Dean of Agriculture. That would be the proper thing to do because the school needs to be informed so they can prevent something like this from happening again. It is destructive to the school’s reputation. What she did and said to you was totally out of line. My heart just goes out to you Marketman because some people just don’t understand that out of the kindness of your heart you have put up this blog to help people like me to learn more about food, etc. and instead of being appreciative, they think you are obligated to help. Frankly, I have learned so much. Btw, I just made your bistek using fish but instead of tuna, I used salmon belly. It was so delicious! Thank you for that.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:49 am

     
  95. betty q. says:

    We all make mistakes! At times, it is how we communicate that leads to misunderstandings.

    To Maria..if someone asked for my assistance on someone’s behalf, I would most likely oblige by giving you SOME references that you might be able to use in the research. Had you been forward from the very beginning, then you might have had positive results.

    Like MM, I also receive some e-mails asking for my assistance…food related! But to those that I do not receive somehow for whatever reason, I apologize for not responding. Even MM’s e-mails to me somehow disappear in cyberspace like it took a WRONG TURN and landed in TIMBUKTO..so sorry, MM…frankly, I really did not get some of your e-mails!…am not LYING!!!!

    Don’t we all deserve a second chance? Even those that pay for their crime are rehabilitated and given a second crack at being good citizens!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:52 am

     
  96. Connie C says:

    Couldn’t help but join in, but would beg to differ from the majority opinion.

    MM, say this Maria is a crafty enough person just trying to get your ire . I say this because in high school we had a bunch of naughty boys who would make our Mother Superior very angry if only to hear her best English ( in a perverse way) when she gets mad. Look at this post dedicated to her and all the responses. Say it is unlikely, but who knows?

    Having apologized, Ms. Maria should be given the benefit of the doubt as if contrite. She has been castigated enough by virtual flogging ,(not to mention chopping the sili and forgetting to wash, OOUCCCCH!!!) a consequence that to me commensurates with her actions. So, in my humble opinion, no letter to the Dean. We hope that she learns a lesson and we all take the high road. Who knows, she may be in public office one day, wink. wink!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 5:02 am

     
  97. jenny says:

    i think she you need to send that email. To teach her a very valuable but simple lesson 1. don’t lie 2. Say please if you ask for something. Her mother deserve to know what’s her daughter been doing.A person is never too old to learn new lesson!!!! go MM send that email…

    Aug 17, 2009 | 5:05 am

     
  98. ntgerald says:

    At this point we are not sure of whether Maria is the child or the mother, and whether the student is the child or the mother.
    Personally, what I want to happen is to make sure that the writer KNOWS that what she did was politically incorrect. If Maria is only helping her daughter or mother, it should be made known to her that a simple assignment like this should be performed by the student herself, and what she is doing is a disservice.
    As a faculty member myself, I think it would be an overreaction to “ruin her future” just because she was discourteous or because her research methods are below par. As a teacher, I would want to call her attention to that, and to coach her on what the acceptable behavior patterns or methods are. That is what she is in school for (although rudeness should be contained at home much much earlier).
    If the faculty will not know about what happened, then they would not be able to contribute towards the growth of this person.
    Towards the end, she was apologetic, but whether she is contrite is another story.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 5:07 am

     
  99. Maria says:

    I am a graduate of UP Diliman and I used to teach there. I say send the email to the Dean. The earlier a bad habit (in this case, having someone do your research work) is corrected, the better for the student.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 5:10 am

     
  100. Marketman says:

    MARKETMAN WEIGHS IN…

    Okay, I have read all the comments sent yesterday afternoon and through the night. I have to say the sentiment is OVERWHELMINGLY in favor of sending the emails to the Dean of Agriculture. I do very much appreciate regular commenter opinion, but I have to say that for the first time ever, I am inclined to go counter to the majority view with a couple of conditions:

    1. Maria, or daughter of Maria, I am sure you have read this post and all of the comments that followed. You should see clearly by now that what you did was wrong. Period.

    2. I ask that you voluntarily show this post to your mother, and have a discussion about its contents, the issue of lying, ethics, logic, and whatever else comes up. That is a discussion I have just had with our 13 year old daughter, and it is a positive outcome of all this foolishness.

    3. Ask your mother to email me after such a discussion is completed.

    4. When I receive your mom’s email, and please don’t fabricate that as well, I will NOT send the emails to the Dean of Agriculture as shown in this post. Instead, I will send an email that narrates the situation but does not name names. In that manner, the school will be warned about sloppy research tactics but they will not have the specific student’s name involved.

    5. I strongly suggest you voluntarily show this post to your mother or she might come across it on her own, if you google “Maria xxxxxx UP Los Banos” it already appears at the top of the first page of the results.

    6. Hopefully, you have learned your lesson and you will conduct yourself in a manner that is appropriate, ethical and logical in future. Or the next time, you won’t be so lucky.

    Regards,

    Marketman

    Aug 17, 2009 | 5:18 am

     
  101. stethacp says:

    Hi Marketman. For whatever it’s worth, I was thinking maybe the mother is not familiar on how to get local produce in our country and maybe she asked help from the daughter. There are a lot of foreign students studying in UPLB especially under the field of Agriculture taking up their mastery. So i was thinking, out of desperation, that they didn’t know where else to look, the daughter just googled and found your website and the rest is history.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 6:25 am

     
  102. denise says:

    Aug 17, 2009 | 6:33 am

     
  103. Vanessa says:

    Kxxxx xxxxx is presumably the person (daughter) who wrote you on behalf of Maria (mother). She identifies herself in the comments. The name also appears on the original email.

    I hope Kxxxx xxxxxx returns to this post and finds the decency to apologize in writing, not only for her lack of manners but also for dragging the person Maria into this.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 6:55 am

     
  104. dizzy says:

    Some lessons we have to learn the hard (and painful) way…we can’t keep making excuses for rudeness, unethical behavior— there’s just too much of that going around, infecting our people, our youth— Mr. MM, your actions may seem harsh, but I think they are also very apt.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 7:36 am

     
  105. quiapo says:

    There appears to be an increasing sense of entitlement among people which resonates with the anonymity of online communication. The Philippines that I left would have recognised the age difference between MM and the young blogger, and there would be appropriate honorific language in asking for assistance.
    MM has the appropriate attitude in making people acccountable for what they say (McIntosh battery incident for ex.) and unless we all do that, standards will slip. Are our core values worth defending?
    Here in Australia, at age 66, I am ususlly referred to as “Kuya” by younger Filipinos, and my 85 year old cousin was referred to as “Tatay”.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 7:52 am

     
  106. Emily says:

    I agree with Vanessa’s conclusions that the Kxxxx xxxxx who commented earlier was the author of the emails. It was a painful and necessary lesson, I think.

    Would she have dared answer your first email that way to your face? I suspect not, and this brings me to what I believe to be a crux of the issue. Many people forget that the internet isn’t just some big hazy disembodied cloud out there. In the safety of their homes, tapping away at their keyboards, they forget that they’re not anonymous and send stuff into virtual space without realizing that they can have consequences in the REAL world, and that bad behavior can actually hurt people.

    I hope Kxxx xxxxxx learned her lesson. And I hope this is a reminder to all of us, the next time we’re tempted to leave a nasty comment on a website, send an angry email, or forward that hoax chain email that spammers just love to harvest, to pause for a bit before hitting the send button.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:10 am

     
  107. Cheryl says:

    Bravo MM! I would have handled it the same way, we often get frustrated by the lack of respect and responsibility in today’s youth. We owe it to ourselves to make these folks accountable and perhaps they can reflect on their moral standards!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:24 am

     
  108. bebot says:

    Mr MM You are a magnanimous person and a really kindhearted one. You let her go, decided to be forgiving and at the same time shows the father side in you… the discipline, the teaching and hoping for the lessons to be learned/that has been learned from the impetous actions she took. I salute you sir.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:44 am

     
  109. Bubut says:

    send your email to the dean. They should know how their students are behaving in the internet world.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:45 am

     
  110. Mila says:

    Interesting thread! The comments have been as insightful as the post. Given your decisions been made, all I can share is that we can’t brand UPLB or any of the UP campuses by the kind of students (or pseudo students if that is what she is) they produce. Do we blame Ateneo for Estrada? Do we castigate Georgetown for not pushing better ethics down GMAs throat? I’m sure Ms. Maria or Ms. Kxxxxx xxxx or her mother are not the brightest bulbs on campus given her inability to find her topic subject in the local market, nor have they had the benefit of learning proper net etiquette (full of landmines in its own way). Hopefully, they review this as soberly as Ms. Maria/Kxxxx xxxx stated above for as long as possible, avoid further mistakes in the future, think before they act, and learn to rise above their mistakes with humility. I fear that a lot of young people take criticisms negatively, they burn with humiliation and take out their anger on less powerful members of their community. If there’s anything I hope to see out of this situation is that Ms. Maria and MM can be friends one day, and may she raise the best organic, indigenous siling labuyo in Laguna.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:47 am

     
  111. gia mayol says:

    I hope the misguided young girl realizes by now that words are permanent. Once you write or say the words, they take on a life of their own and you have to be responsible for it. I hope the mom gets wind of this (in this day and age, she probably has already) and sits down with her daughter and point to the error of her ways. Respect and courtesy are universal values, regardless of the color of your skin or even what school you are going to. She needs to hear about this life lesson from her mom and not the dean.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:48 am

     
  112. siopao says:

    This from a UP student?!!! This saddens me as I am a UP alum.
    And.. how can you NOT find siling labuyo in the Philippines?

    SEND IT!, “ASAP” “ASAP”

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:01 am

     
  113. bluegirl says:

    Reading Kxxxx xxxxx post makes me feel she is apologizing to avoid getting into more trouble and avoid getting her mother into trouble. She says she learned her lesson but I an unsure if she really learned the right lessons.

    For example, Kxxxx Wxx says she was “defensive”. Actually her replies & behaviour struck me as “aggressive and offensive”.

    Marketman, I must say I admire your decided course of action. I learned from it.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:07 am

     
  114. mommy says:

    Dear MM, I agree with your decision and how you responded to her emails. I really hope the writer has learned her lesson. That is to do research the old school way and not rely on others for help ( especially since siling labuyo isnt that rare. I am not an agriculture major, but a trip to the any market would have easily sealed the deal for 5 kg or even more of siling labuyo). Second, it was inappropriate on her part to start using those foul language as a reply. I hope her kind comprise only a small fraction of our youth today.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:39 am

     
  115. Tarcs says:

    I googled “Maria xxxxxx” and came across her Friendster page. If the names are correct then the daughter’s behaviour is explained (but, certainly, not excused) on so many different levels.

    In the course of my professional life, I’ve also received requests from students doing research. Much as my initial inclination is to assist, I’ve learned to develop a standard initial response asking the student/researcher to email me first with an outline of the paper, a brief summary of the data they’ve already gathered and how they intend to fit my inputs into their paper.

    Aside from the content of the response, I give extra points for grammar and politeness :-). It seems this weeds-out the lazy free-loaders who don’t even bother to e-mail back and has, in fact, resulted in a few enjoyable encounters with bright young minds from whom I’ve learned a thing or two myself.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:43 am

     
  116. xkwzt says:

    Whatever happened to burning the midnight oil, proper introductions, and general respect for people you meet? I say, teach Maria a lesson; if only to show that the name of our beloved U.P. should not be taken in vain! :D

    Aug 17, 2009 | 10:06 am

     
  117. Lenlen S. says:

    Bravo to you MM and The Teen! I must say the “it” word is breeding.

    Have a nice week ahead of you and your family.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 10:23 am

     
  118. Kai says:

    MM, it’s right that her mother should know, so she takes responsibility for HER own studies and research and not ask anybody else, even her daughter, to help her.

    Kxxx xxxx calling herself intelligent? Very funny.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 10:29 am

     
  119. Din says:

    I’m one of Marketman’s usually-silent fans. I’m from UP Diliman and Ms. Maria puts to shame all the fine graduates of UP Los Banos and the entire UP system. She is lazy, boorish and dishonest.

    Please send it “asap” and please send a copy to the Commission for Higher Education.

    while I agree that we cannot blame a school for the behavior of one of its students, each student must be aware that they represent their school, so they should conduct themselves accordingly. Ms. Maria presented herself as a student of UPLB and then proceeded to act in a manner that would shame that institution. Now, it appears, she has also shamed her own mother. If they commit the crime, then they should do the time.

    Our country is entirely too forgiving. Let’s stop. Tough love builds character.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 10:47 am

     
  120. emsy says:

    How wonderful that in light of you telling her about what you intend to do, she shifts gears and tells you that it’s her mother not her. Oldest (dumb) trick in the book. I’ll bet my left arm that it’s not her mom who’s doing the research but her. So YES, send the emails to the dean. Whether it’s really her mom or her who’s doing the research, this is no way to get preliminary information on an academic research.

    And just a note, it pains me to see how grammatically poor Maria is “without including people who are not CONCERN with this situation” and many others. Thinking is so important, Maria. I’m sure you’re lurking around here. Thinking is SOOO important to have good grammar and better judgement.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:10 am

     
  121. dee bee says:

    Marketman, good one…the conditions you set out are quite reasonable.

    Dear fellow readers, should we try to give this incident a name, much like how we often refer to the “fishpan” episode? My suggestion is the “sili” episode, also a pun on “silly”.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:11 am

     
  122. millet says:

    cheats and liars go to hell. arrogant liars with bad manners deserve dante’s circles 8 and 9 (for malicious sins).

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:26 am

     
  123. Marketman says:

    Hello Everyone, “Maria’s” mother has emailed me several times as has Maria, and she requested that I publish her apology (sent to me in private email) for everyone to read. Here it is:

    “Dear sir,

    I am maria’s mother, the mother of Kxxxxx and it has to come to my knowledge of what she has done to you. I am a widow and I single handed raised my two daughters for the past 11 years. Being my eldest daughter, I have been dependent on her when It comes to the major decisions in our life. I really am trying to ask help from her looking for some source of red chili for I will use it in my study. We have tried looking for some in the market but we have found none since the one I need is the native variety, the only available is the siling labuyo from Taiwan. Unknowingly, she tried looking for the source in the internet and was able to come across your site and she said that she was overwhelmed to find your site with an article about siling labuyo and emailed you using my name and school (which I think is really irresponsible) about having the possibility of availing some of these materials from you or from someone you might know. The request she sent you made use of the word “asap”, she might not know how to tell that she needs it urgently in a more polite manner, and so she used “asap” to which I also think is an arrogant term. Without realizing how arrogant she sounded, she felt offended when you responded her, and being young and aggressive she used foul and bad words which I know is very unbecoming for someone who is asking a favor that offended you and I am deeply sorry for that.

    I was disgusted towards my daughter’s action especially when I read your post and the comments. In fact, it made me feel weak, stressed and depressed. I am blaming myself for not ensuring that my daughter got the right values. I am terribly affected about the mess my daughter have done, it did not only affected her and me but the institution where I am studying right now as well. It is such a shame that my daughter has to drag the University for all this mess. I have read the last post from you and I am indebted to you since you decided not to send the exchanged emails to the dean of the college of agriculture. For this, I am truly thankful.

    I feel responsible for my daughter’s behavior, rest assured that I have given her the proper punishment that she deserves, and I scolded her and made sure that she learned her lessons for not behaving appropriately. In behalf of my daughter’s misconduct, I humbly and deeply ask for an apology and I pray and hope that you will forgive us.
    I am also asking, pleading that you may have the heart to remove your post regarding this issue. My daughter might cause you so much pain and trouble but I still believe that she deserves a second chance. Being the parent I still feel protective about her, as a parent yourself I know you would understand. Please give my daughter a chance to start again by removing your post, this I ask with all humility. I promise that I will give her the proper guidance and be responsible enough in whatever undertakings she may have in the future. I would love to communicate with you personally or through the phone so that I can personally ask for an apology. I also hope to hear from you.Thank you and God Bless.

    Sincerely yours,
    “Maria’s” Mother”

    Apologies have been accepted and full names have been deleted. I consider the sili episode, as deebee calls it, over. Thank you.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:27 am

     
  124. Rose5 says:

    “Perhaps as part of your research you may want to try chopping up some siling labuyo, then forget to wash your hands, then touch your private parts”

    HA! HA! HA!…

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:37 am

     
  125. jen says:

    When I began reading the post, I had decided not to leave a comment. But after reading through all the comments, I could not help but put my thoughts out here. While I have some choice words for Maria regarding her communications, I cannot address it to her here because the infraction was not done against me, it was committed in private against MM and while it was shared to the public, I have no right (however pleasant or unpleasant my words may be) to admonish her.
    I am assuming most of us here are adults and have done a lot of maturing through the years. I assume, from the way the email was written, Maria is a young person. Young people, while having some wisdom (or not) are impetuous by nature.
    As an educator, I firmly believe in focusing discipline on learning rather than anything else. I second Connie C’s sentiments, give the young girl the benefit of the doubt that her apology is contrite. This lesson might be a turning point for her. I believe that after calm reflection, MM will do the right thing regardless whether this kid abides by his conditions or not. With our own children, we forgive our children unconditionally when apologies have been said. As a parent, we know that kindness and charity are the virtues by which we can deliver the correct discipline to our children.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:43 am

     
  126. sugarcages says:

    Did a little Google-fu and there’s a name that matches the email sender in UPLB’s student roster. Graduate school daw. Hmm. Coincidence? In any case, foul talaga ginawa niya. And yes, students (even grad school) are so lazy nowadays. I once had to deal with someone who asked how a certain government agency was founded. The answer was in the written law and it’s accessible to anyone. Sheesh.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:58 am

     
  127. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    MM, I think this post got more comments in 24 hours than even the “resting the meat” incident. Perhaps you can also stop further oomments from being posted with the mothers letter of apology being the last post.

    Just a suggestion, your decision rules!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 12:09 pm

     
  128. evelyn says:

    Mr.MM

    How about Maria’s heartfelt apology. Just asking. Thanks.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:31 pm

     
  129. Marketman says:

    evelyn et al, Maria sent several emails after her mother sent hers, let’s just say I consider the issue closed and brought to a decent conclusion. I think Maria is aware of the issues, and it is up to her to correct her actions in future. I can only be optimistic that there is a positive side to this episode. Jen, the issue has been settled as I indicate in a comment a few up from yours.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:46 pm

     
  130. Peach says:

    Marketman, given the apologetic and desperate tenor of the single mother’s email, perhaps you should considering removing this post entirely, more as an act of kindness rather than as an acquiescence to a request of an indirect offender. Besides, the brash daughter would have learned her lesson by now as it seems that her mindless but brazen email has given rise to a scathing exchange of comments and, worse, to deep-seated family issues.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:46 pm

     
  131. Marketman says:

    Peach, I have removed their names and contact numbers. But the post shall remain as is. The positive side of this whole episode is that hopefully, others will read this and avoid the same fate. If you are hitting this post now, you would have no clue who it is about. But the key underlying issues are important ones. One may forgive, but not forget, as my mom used to say of her experiences during World War II.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 2:58 pm

     
  132. gentle reader says:

    is that the future leaders of our nations? that we call it skolar ng bayan. so sad. soon people will be twisted on wrong attitudes and guidance like whats happening right now and beware parents good morals start at home. that has to be change before its to late. pls. MM don’t make excuse on this.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 3:11 pm

     
  133. marcial bonifacio says:

    tsk,tsk,tsk…KIDS today…well done, MM.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 3:28 pm

     
  134. Tuesdayy says:

    “Maria’s Mother” and “Maria”, MM already accepted your apology, case closed. The post stays, live with it and move on. I’m just curious, have you, by now, found a supplier of the siling labuyo you were looking for in the first place? If that is the same variety as the ones used for making “sinamak”, then perhaps a reader from Bacolod or Iloilo can help you find a reliable supplier. Good luck with your research.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:27 pm

     
  135. Fredo says:

    she comes off as being “spoiled”, sanay may inuutusan. It is easy to forget common courtesy nowadays, especially on the net where you don’t normally see who you are talking to.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 4:37 pm

     
  136. James says:

    I’m glad you left the messages up as an example of how NOT to behave.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 7:43 pm

     
  137. smiles4angels says:

    I remember a story when a man was caught stealing and as a punishment he was branded “ST” on his forehead. I think it stood for “sheep thief” (anyone correct me if I’m wrong).

    The man decided to reform himself and through the years helped the people around him. Once there was a child who asked his/her mother what “st” meant… the mother answered “it stands for Saint”

    People can change.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 8:47 pm

     
  138. Karina says:

    My, my, Mr. Marketman! I visit your site after a long absence and find this tempest instead of the usual food talk. But let me just leave my comment as one educator who deals with young people. It is true what others have written that young people really are getting used to instant results and not learning how to do things the hard way. Many of them also do not understand the concept of politeness and being respectful. What the young girl did is obviously wrong and it is only right that she sees and feels the consequences of her wrong- doing. But I am glad that you took the action that you did — that is, asking her to show her mother her posts and all the succeeding comments, and after all the apologies decided to just let it rest there. The parent is aware of her child’s behavior and takes responsibility for censuring and disciplining her. The young girl would have learned her lesson by now. At the same time you made sure that she does not suffer permanently from her youthful mistakes by deciding not to pursue the matter any further. I think that was a very classy act. Also, we all learned an important lesson on how we should weigh possible consequences first before reacting to situations such that our words and actions won’t come back to haunt us. Thanks for leaving the posts and leaving us the lessons!

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:40 pm

     
  139. mommy says:

    dear mm, agree that post should stay (minus the name and contact numbers of the mag-ina). May this serve as a lesson to parents and young adults.

    Not everyone will take arrogance, cursing, etc…just sitting down.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:40 pm

     
  140. Helen says:

    MM, please leave the post on to be an example for other readers, especially young ones on how not to behave.. Young people nowadays really have bad manners and they really are lazy on doing their research. I agree with Kit, young kids now don’t even know how to use the library.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 9:51 pm

     
  141. chrisb says:

    MM, you missed one- her surname is still there: 3rd sentence, last paragraph. =) and in the first comment by sanjomd.

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:15 pm

     
  142. chrisb says:

    MM, you missed one- her surname is still there: 3rd sentence, last paragraph. =)

    Aug 17, 2009 | 11:16 pm

     
  143. Riza Arellano says:

    Nicely handled Market Man. Hopefully your post will detract lazy students from you emailing you for awhile. Or at the very least have them ‘think’ about the questions they spew at you.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 12:23 am

     
  144. Ed B. says:

    Sorry if my comment offends any one, but this is so absurd that it’s actually hilarious. @_@

    Aug 18, 2009 | 12:39 am

     
  145. Cookie says:

    Naman! Ang daming siling labuyo sa Pinas?!! Dito nga sa NJ, in the Asian Markets you can get Thai bird chilies – which is close enough to our labuyo variety. hayyyy!! Kids!!

    Aug 18, 2009 | 1:21 am

     
  146. Marichu says:

    I wonder if it’s possible to put a meta filter of easily searched words like “research” + “paper.” Those who need to learn some lessons might see this as a top search result and be enlightened.
    There might be hope yet for that young lady since her mother is actually a good role model. The mother did not wash her hands off of her daughter’s impetuousness and refused to put the burden on someone else to make sure her daughter learns her lesson. I would have worried if the mother blamed the school or anyone else for not teaching her daughter the right values.
    Another day, another lesson learned. Thank you, Marketman.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 2:00 am

     
  147. Anna Geraldez-Rayos del Sol says:

    My vote – send it to the Dean of the College of Agriculture at UPLB! That will teach her and ‘her mother’ a lesson or two…………

    Aug 18, 2009 | 2:58 am

     
  148. ted says:

    MM, if i was Maria’s parent, i would have asked you to send the email to the Dean, specially her (Mom’s apologetic) letter, and let the Dean decide. Sometimes, the person needs to suffer the consequences of his/her act. I still believe the Kxxxxx person fabricated the mom’s apologetic letter).

    I also noticed, that a few of your student readers claim they are from UP,,,does that automatically make them a privileged individual and need to be regarded as such? I happen to see that Atis comment from a certain person doing research on how to extract oil from the seeds for biofuel, (i guess i’ve been a folower for awhile), and i even made some comments about the research this person was doing, and was already thinking, why is this person asking for comments on your blogsite to do her research, then i went back to your archives and walla, a lot of them are reseaching the atis seeds for use as insecticides, and such, lol. They all must be from the same school, could that be from the same school? lol

    I’ve been thinking of sending my daughter home to study for college, but with all these things im seeing in your blog about these students asking your help to do their research for you, I’m now seriously thinking about it. Imagine, that Atis blog was back in July 7, 2005, and i didn’t realize they’ve continuted to even email you for questions on their research, thesis and such. Im now beginning to question the studying habits of our what you call “PAG-ASA ng Bayan”.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 3:08 am

     
  149. kim says:

    too late to comment … but i do hope readers will learn what RESPECT really means … my only wish is to be able to instill good values to my babies ( a toddler and one upcoming : ) ) … scary what the future holds for the next generation … ill probably die young of high blood/heart attack kapag lumaking ganyan mga anak ko :'(

    Aug 18, 2009 | 3:38 am

     
  150. pia l. says:

    I do hope that your readers do not generalize about what UP students are based on the emails that you receive MM. I am a graduate of both UP Diliman and UP Manila (and I have once been a student of one of your regular readers here, ntgerald, hehe, and I know he knows me through a close connection), and I can honestly say that there are still a lot of UP students whom our kababayans can proudly call as “Iskolars ng Bayan”. I do believe though, that the dwindling support from the government and yes, the UP alumni, have contributed a lot to the worsening of the quality of education that UP provides. I do encourage you to send the email to the UP dean of agriculture to allow him to take necessary steps.

    So there. Let’s not generalize people. :)

    Aug 18, 2009 | 4:00 am

     
  151. ted says:

    @betty Q. I replied to your email about a month ago,,were you able to read it? Let me know please, i will resend if you didn’t get them.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 4:36 am

     
  152. Marketman says:

    chrisb, thanks, they have been deleted.

    To everyone, it seems Maria (the daughter) is a young adult, not a child as I had originally thought. She is of an age that can vote, or older. So while I had tempered this post to one in their teens, this is someone who very much should have understood the potential consequences of her actions. But despite the emails and comments after the fact, I do believe she can and will change. If not, it’s her loss.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 6:37 am

     
  153. lori says:

    God, and I thought some of the emails I got were horrid! I was cringing while reading this post. >-s I get similar emails but they deal mostly with requests to send a spreadsheet of home bakers with the corresponding addresses, price lists, etc. as well as restaurants categorized by city and cuisine.

    AS IF!

    Aug 18, 2009 | 3:33 pm

     
  154. risa says:

    I vote to remove the post. It’s an unpleasant experience overall both to you and the emailer. It mars the food experience.

    Just my half cent.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 5:41 pm

     
  155. meow says:

    btw, i’m wondering if you’re in the same ‘cirkulo’ as toto gonzalez of the blog “remembrance of things awry” (http://remembranceofthingsawry.wordpress.com) your blog has a somewhat similar…je ne sais quoi.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 6:18 pm

     
  156. Marketman says:

    meow, I don’t think I have met toto gonzalez, but I think he might possibly be a very distant relative of my wife (oops, not, wrong Gonzalez I think)… risa, unpleasant for me is not a reason to remove something. I don’t agree with attempts of Imelda to cover slums with newly painted walls. The issue is to figure out how to put an end to slums, not to cover it up…

    Aug 18, 2009 | 6:22 pm

     
  157. meow says:

    PS – normally i wouldn’t even bother replying to emails/messages such as maria’s–though in all honesty, i’ve done my share of doing just that & i’d have to say it’s…well, fun. (in the most recent of which, i said, “b***h, don’t dish it if you can’t take it!!”) lol. “fwiw” marketman, maria might simply have been confused about the real purpose of your site. but this was her fault.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 6:30 pm

     
  158. ghia says:

    MM, is it just me or am i correct in thinking that those peppers are pretty easy to find? there are groceries and markets for such things. is it a rare commodity? i don’t understand.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 7:31 pm

     
  159. Marketman says:

    ghia, actually, “real” labuyo is getting scarcer and scarcer to find. What is abundant in the markets are Taiwanese bird’s eye chilies. The little super hot labuyos are not as common. but almost all provincial markets I have been to do seem to have them.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 8:30 pm

     
  160. Richie says:

    MM,

    I can’t help but think, but am I the only one that thinks that the so called Maria and her daughter are of the same person.

    She was quick to apologise and to point out that the request on the first email was for her “mother”. Then on a one sided agreement, to put the whole situation into some sort of secrecy and misunderstanding.

    I read your first reply to her. It wasn’t an attack or a full on “in your face” rejection. You weren’t being rude but were rightly putting her on her place. Her reply calling you an Arsehole was really uncalled for and can’t help but swear at the back of my head at the audacity, or how low that some people will go to because they did not hear what they wanted to hear.

    Your retribution was perfect, and I bet she was thinking that she shouldn’t have used her real name in the email (I still think they’re just one person).

    My two cents, send her email to the dean of the school for calling you an A**hole.

    Well that’s just my little rant while I do my nightshift.

    Oh one more thing, do you see the IP addresses from people leaving a comment? Some of the people’s comment to exonerate her, seems a little too obvious. If you know what I mean.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 9:41 pm

     
  161. James says:

    To those who say remove the post because she has learned, I say this:

    People here in the Philippines are too forgiving of many things. Those who transgress against you never have to face what they have done.

    Forgive the girl for being young and foolish. But, do not forget. Lest she do it again.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 9:49 pm

     
  162. moni says:

    I googled her name and found that the mother is doing a Ph.D. in animal science at UPLB. I saw this info from her Friendster account and there was a photo of the grown-up daughter. Not a child.

    Aug 18, 2009 | 11:51 pm

     
  163. juls says:

    hmmm…

    mm, mr. pacheco was right. i know many can get our goat by being irresponsible with their words and actions, but just like gandhi has said before, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” I think she may have learned her lesson and hopefully she would be more circumspect in the future.

    as for the others here who demanded her head on a spike, i could only say that it’s easy to cast the first stone here in the net especially when you’re identity is not on the line.

    but aside from that, the line that made my day was this:

    “I trust you will have a lovely week ahead of you. Perhaps as part of your research you may want to try chopping up some siling labuyo, then forget to wash your hands, then touch your private parts. Now THAT is indeed RUDE.”

    Reminds me of the sitcom, Frasier…. :)

    Aug 19, 2009 | 12:52 am

     
  164. Cecilia says:

    Wow, too bad I missed this tempestuous and insightful post/thread while fresh. I’m sure Ms. Maria and her mother(?) lost many nights of sleep.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 6:39 am

     
  165. yel says:

    Hi MM!

    I am one of your irregular commenters and regular readers. I just want to say how I admire your disposition in handling the situation. I love how you transformed a not-so-good encounter with an incautious and impertinent person into a resounding lesson for her and for everybody. You were offended but you tried to understand, contemplate and transcend the issue into something beneficial.

    I myself, emailed you twice or thrice asking for a phone number and the other was for a recipe. You did not reply to any of those. And that did not offend me nor made me hate you and your blog. You have a life and you have reasons for keeping this blog. And one thing sure, you are doing us a favor. If I ask a favor from someone; I have no reason whatsoever to demand and be mad if one can’t do it for me. If he responds; I am lucky. If he grants it; that is a bonus and I will be very grateful.

    Thanks for keeping your blog. God Bless!

    Aug 19, 2009 | 8:46 am

     
  166. Marketman says:

    yel, oddly, I do reply to a lot of emails, but many times, they do go into the spam folders of readers, so they don’t get my reply. marketmanila.com is a “marked” address and spammers sometimes hijack it so many times my emails get spammed. It is certainly possible I did not answer the emails at all, but readers also need to vigilantly check their mail in spam as they often find my answers there… thanks for your comment and your visits to the site. :)

    Revised comment:

    Yel, I was a bit troubled by your comment, so I went back and traced all your comments on the site. Don’t you just love computers? So here is the deal. You asked about a telephone number of Antonio’s restaurant in a comment, not email, but I did not respond. Unfortunately, your comment was placed 6 months after I published the original post (Nov. post, May comment), and i don’t always go back to old posts, so my apologies. Here is the number if you still need it. You asked about the names and restaurants on the Binondo food tour that I took with Ivan Mandy, also on an old post, in a comment form, and I didn’t respond. Again, because it was an older post, and also because I didn’t actually take down the names and numbers or addresses of those featured in the tour. Best to contact Ivan for the tour proper. Finally, you asked for a recipe for a plain puto, after I published a post on a successful ube puto. Unfortunately, I still have not nailed a plain puto. I hope that helps. Again, thank you.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 10:21 am

     
  167. bagito says:

    Dang, I can’t believe I missed all this posting action. Love the “sili” (silly) tag a la fishpan. I think what you did MM was a win-win for everyone. Hopefully, this Kris XXX has learned her lesson. The only thing that really bothered me was the mom saying, “Being my eldest daughter, I have been dependent on her when it comes to the major decisions in our life.” YIKES. I think she might need to rethink her approach as obviously, the daughter needs further guidance.
    Anyway, I’m still a proud UP Diliman grad. Peyups 4ever! ;-)

    Aug 19, 2009 | 11:40 am

     
  168. wilde says:

    Now that is what I call rude and arrogant.

    Just reading her email to you MM makes me, for some reasons, angry.

    Well, better update your spam markings on senders MM, hehe.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 1:40 pm

     
  169. Shan says:

    You sure do have a temper. Being a blogger, it is inevitable you will get emails or comments you do not like. The easiest solution – ignore them. It seems like you always want to have the last say, or the last scream – I vividly remember that incident where you made a scene in of the restos in greenbelt. Or refuse the offer by one of the hotels where you complained about the bed mites. Humility is a virtue is all I can say.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 1:42 pm

     
  170. Emily says:

    Shan, one person’s definition of “humility” is another person’s definition of “doormat”. We do not seem to have the same dictionary. I like to get my money’s worth, for one thing.

    I don’t see how putting up with shoddy service – especially service that is paid for with hard-earned money – is a form of being humble. “Pa-martyr effect”, maybe. Or the “pasyenya na lang, ganyan talaga” attitude which is more a vice than a virtue, when we see where it’s led our country in the last few years.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 6:26 pm

     
  171. Marketman says:

    Shan, I do ignore most emails of this sort. But occasionally, I respond to them, and in this case, tried to find a silver lining which 95+% of the readers above seem to recognize but which you don’t. But service wise, when I am paying for something, I expect a reasonable exchange. Let’s see, hmmm, maybe some analogies would help…

    1. You have a daughter, she goes to a school. Her English or Filipino textbooks are riddled with errors, so much so that it would seriously affect her language skills in future. When you raise the issue to the teacher, she says she can’t do anything about the texts the school buys, so you bring it up at the PTA or Principal’s meeting, and they just tell you to ignore the mistakes and get a tutor to help your child. Do you mean to tell me humility would be to accept that and not raise a stink? Would you be so humble so that you would instead compromise your child’s education because it was uncomfortable pointing out factual errors and shoddy quality?

    2. You are getting married. You reserve the ballroom of a hotel by the bay. You have a faxed confirmation of the date. Then two days before, the secretary calls to tell you there has been a mistake, you don’t have the ballroom after all. Do you mean to tell me you wouldn’t raise a stink? You would just be “humble” and take this as your station in life, and have your 200 guests end up at a hastily reserved alternative location, even after you have distributed your invitations?

    3. You are in line at the grocery, and you are in hurry because your very ill mother is in the hospital and awaits your return with adult diapers. But suddenly, two people cut into the line a few people in front of you, and they have 60+ items in their cart each. Do you mean to tell me “humility” is allowing them to do so? Even if it means that your own mother would be placed in prolonged discomfort?

    4. You are at church, and you place PHP100 in the collection basket, and the person next to you, instead of contributing, reaches in and pulls out some PHP500 in money, apparently stealing it. Do you not tell them to put it back? Or ignore what you see and just let it go? And when he denies that he took it, would you then just let it go and not raise a stink, when you know that what he did was wrong, regardliess of the difficulties he faces, or the reason why he needs the money so badly, even if a life or death situation?

    5. At work, you and a colleague are writing a major report for a client. You do all your work and it is documented and properly sourced. You realize minutes before presenting the work that the portion done by your colleague is almost fully plagiarized and some of the data stolen from another study. Do you look the other way, or confront the person and suffer the consequences of not delivering the report on time?

    I could go on and on. In instances when folks do something clearly wrong, lying, stealing, cutting in line, etc… I think it is almost your duty to say something. Because if you don’t, you could actually be condoning and encouraging that behavior.

    Do you think when Cory Aquino was President and a newspaper columnist said during a coup attempt that the housewife had cowered under her bed, do you think she turned the other cheek and ignored that lie? Of course not, she responded firmly and with facts, by showing the world that there was NO SPACE under her bed and thus couldn’t have hid there and that the newspaper’s story was essentially libelous. And I believe she did sue for libel, and won.

    I often find that religion clouds definitions such as humility to the point where people tend to use it as an excuse rather than in the truest sense of the word.

    If you don’t get the picture from the examples above… there isn’t much I can do to convince you, and frankly, I wouldn’t want to spend any more time doing so. You are welcome to your opinions on how to define humility, or who is humble or not, but oddly, for someone who professes to be so disturbed by it, you seem to continue to read the blog. Then why keep coming back for repeated visits instead of focusing on reading other blogs that appear to be written by those with more humility? And since you reside in Singapore, I am pretty sure you are aware what efficient and competent service entails, from the government offices, to the retail sector, education, etc. And when you point out a something wrong service wise in Singapore, the response is often far quicker and more logical than it can be in the Philippines… Those who refuse to dissect an issue objectively often choose to focus on the peripherals, not the issue at hand. And the major issues at hand above was Maria’s email, which to her own admission:

    1. Lied about who she was and where she studied and why she needed something
    2. Then when she didn’t get the answer she wanted, resorted to uncalled for profanity of the foulest sort
    3. When it was pointed out that what she did was wrong and there were very real potential consequences, she quickly backtracked and sought leniency
    4. Doing research for someone else, is on its own already bordering on the grey area for a student
    5. The person in question is an adult, not a child.

    That is the crux of the matter. And the outcome, I thought, was extremely positive. But somehow, you failed to see that.

    P.S. I caution you when so quickly making a judgment call as to what I am like based solely on my posts. You don’t know me. You have read me. So saying “you remember the incident” is distinctly different from “remember reading your post on the incident.” Lee Kuan Yew was said to have ruled with an iron fist; tough but fair. He too had a “temper,” I gather, and it along with all of his efforts, has resulted in the Singapore you are working in today. A country where there is little if any poverty, where every citizen or just about, has decent housing and sufficient food, and where laws and abiding by those laws are deeply respected by its citizens. This was the backwater that 50 years ago was far behind the Philippines in many respects. Following his example, I think I would much rather have a temper and have beneficial rationally based results for the overall population than be a doormat of “humility” by your definition while many around me are starving, or hungry, without shelter and without a decent education.

    Aug 19, 2009 | 8:35 pm

     
  172. lelibeli says:

    love your last comment MM!

    Aug 20, 2009 | 4:12 am

     
  173. mabs says:

    Very good point Marketman. Humility doesn’t necessarily mean being silent when other people show no respect towards you. Respect in terms of people treating other people right as expected in a civilized society.

    On a lighter note… I stumbled on your blog for the first time today and I’ve been reading it on and off the whole day.:)

    Aug 20, 2009 | 6:52 am

     
  174. Marketman says:

    lelibeli, thanks. mabs, welcome to the site. With 2,300 or so posts in the archives, please feel free to browse backwards when you have nothing better to do. :)

    Aug 20, 2009 | 7:18 am

     
  175. ted says:

    Shan Abellaneda, i dont understand where you’re coming from and talking about humility. You do have a blog and i just tried viewing it,,,In July you posted a whopping 6 articles or blogs,,,out of these six,,,count it six,,,you have a total of 1 commenter which you commented back fumingly with sarcasm…so i really don’t understand why you wanted MM to act with humility. Your whole blog for the year is probably one weeks worth of blogs from MM, and i would definitely understand if MM would go berserk on ridiculous emails he receives, and If I were him I would do the same. So before you comment on something, look at yourself first, btw you should consider shutting down your site,,,for you are the only one reading it. But actually by commenting here, you probably is advertising your site?,,,sorry MM, we got an advertiser on the loose.

    Aug 20, 2009 | 8:03 am

     
  176. Marketman says:

    THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR MANY COMMENTS AND VIEWS. THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THIS POST IS NOW CLOSED. This is only the second time I have resorted to cutting off comments. But it is time to move on. THANKS. Marketman

    Aug 20, 2009 | 8:12 am

     
 

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