10 Sep2015

Goat’s Eyes…

by Marketman

P1000716

Care to take a wild guess? :) When someone at our office asked me if I knew what a goat’s eye was… I replied somewhat sure that they meant “had I ever eaten goat eyeballs in some middle eastern or African dish”, but they just sniggered. Considering that I have a large poster of different types of condoms in our office to promote safe sex and unplanned for offspring, you can tell where this post is headed.

So they took a detour on a site visit in deep downtown Cebu and let me choose from a sidewalk vendor hawking his wares. Hundreds of “goat’s eyes” were on offer, market at roughly PHP80-120, but I managed to bargain them down to PHP60 for two dozen pieces. It turns out they are made literally from the eyelids of a goat, and include the bristles or hair, and they are meant to be worn on a man’s you-know-what to enhance the evening’s performance. I certainly burst out laughing when I figured it out, but I did wonder if this was something strangely local and why had I never heard about it before? It isn’t just local, it’s Nepali, it seems, but gosh knows how long we have been toying with it…

Of course the stories (true and probably apocryphal) came flying fast and furious and one of our erstwhile gentle and unassuming employees smiled excitedly when I asked him about them, but he quickly gave me a pained face and said it was dangerous and hurtful (he used it incorrectly, draw your own conclusions on that one) but he did want to have more to use properly the next time around. Others shyly averted their eyes while most were amused that I had plonked down a serious sum to acquire 24 of them in varying shapes, sizes and colors.

I decided to give them out as prank party favors to guests at our Christmas dinners last December, and not surprisingly, most were clueless, but one American lady immediately guessed what they were for, and everyone took their little goat’s eyes home with them. And no, I have absolutely not tried one, I just think they are outrageous conversation pieces. Outrageous. Let the comments begin, but please, try to keep them PG or R at most, no X-rated ones please. :)

 

COMMENTS:

  1. khrishyne says:

    I thot that this was just an “urban legend” MM. I thot panindot lang ni sa istorya sa mga amego nga ubay-ubay na ug nainom or katong ganahan lang jud mag -garagara ug manabi sa ilang binuhatan. I cannot imagine that this is really being used.

    Sep 10, 2015 | 11:49 am

     
  2. Marketman says:

    khrishyne, now you know. To be honest, I had no idea either. :)

    Sep 10, 2015 | 11:52 am

     
  3. Connie C says:

    I would say to keep comments PG or R is next to impossible:) :) and as Footloose would say, “no tittering from the audience please”. But I am told it is less to enhance a males’s performance but to give his partner (female) the ultimate heaven.

    Sep 10, 2015 | 2:28 pm

     
  4. Marketman says:

    Connie, you are apparently absolutely correct, but the “constrictive” quality of the ring is meant to have delaying tactics of sorts… hahaha.

    For the truly clueless as I was, you are apparently meant to soak the thingamajig in water so that it is a bit more malleable and easier to don… The guy I mention in the post above apparently did no such thing and almost ended up in an emergency room but the potential embarrassment was worse than the temporary damage… hahaha.

    Sep 10, 2015 | 2:33 pm

     
  5. ihid says:

    freesize?

    Sep 10, 2015 | 4:27 pm

     
  6. ros says:

    Hmmm, eyes or eyelashes? Coz it’s “pilikmata ng kambing” in Tagalog.
    Other pre-Spanish quirkiness here:

    http://tribo.org/history/sex.html

    :D

    Sep 10, 2015 | 6:14 pm

     
  7. Marketman says:

    ros, I suspect eyelashes might be more accurate… but they do call it goat’s eye in English at the sidewalk vendors in Cebu… :)

    Sep 10, 2015 | 6:46 pm

     
  8. ros says:

    Ohh, nice… If I ever find myself in downtown Cebu I’ll know what to ask for, hehe. :P

    Sep 10, 2015 | 7:39 pm

     
  9. Marketman says:

    ros, here’s more help in case you want to look for the vendor, the advertising is rather blunt… hahaha. :)

    P1000719 (1)

    Sep 10, 2015 | 8:08 pm

     
  10. Nina says:

    Hahahaha… that is really funny! Come to think of it, now I remember way back a loooong time ago, an old, next door female neighbor, commenting a few times that the reason why women go crazy about certain men was because of the use of this thingy. In other words, it is a source of a very “fulfilling night”!

    Sep 10, 2015 | 10:45 pm

     
  11. Footloose says:

    “The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews…” W. H. Auden

    I find this post (in a food blog) even more of a conundrum than the condom entry and I would not know where to group this under among previous posts, capering below kalderetang kambing or clustered with Stewed bull’s gonads. Brings to mind my first encounter with bolitas de bacalao (saltcod fritters) in a menu, I could scarcely hold in a guffaw.

    Sep 10, 2015 | 10:55 pm

     
  12. Titanons says:

    these things were being sold on the sidewalk across Sta. cruz church in Manila in the 70s pa! I don’t remember who told me what they were used for, but I always avoided looking at them when I passed by! Pang kiliti daw!

    Sep 10, 2015 | 10:58 pm

     
  13. Rochelle says:

    hahahahaha!!! MM this is such a funny post!! I would never look at a goat, or the eyes of the goat, the same way again!

    Sep 11, 2015 | 12:46 am

     
  14. EJ says:

    This stuff was on sale in Chinatown decades ago. One of my colegiala friends even asked the vendor why false eyelashes were being sold in the sidewalks there, ha ha ha.

    Sep 11, 2015 | 1:21 am

     
  15. jim says:

    Tried but failed to visualize how this contraption could provide pleasure to women. To insert it and deploy internally could be excruciatingly painful for both the man and woman..di ba? So, probably this for external use only…yes?…and how?

    In this age of ’50 Shades of Grey” , I supposed open and honest discussion of mature subjects should be okay.

    Sep 11, 2015 | 4:25 am

     
  16. ros says:

    Ahahaha!! That ad/sign!! the “Biyaheng Langit” part really cracks me up. But the Sun-smiley drawing is overkill. :D

    Sep 11, 2015 | 5:04 am

     
  17. jakbkk says:

    tickle tickle…hehehe

    Sep 11, 2015 | 10:38 am

     
  18. Connie C says:

    Not an authority on goat’s eyes but doesn’t leather or hide soften when soaked in water? so I suppose a little prep is needed before application:) as I cannot imagine……..

    Sep 11, 2015 | 12:55 pm

     
  19. manny says:

    Several years back, visiting cebu, after having said a few prayers at The Sto. Nino Church, my naughty friend called my attention to a vendor just outside selling these.

    He said I should buy a few as ”good luck charms’ and shall be the answer to my prayers for ‘happiness’.

    Only when we got back to the hotel did he enlighten me giving out a loud laugh.

    Sep 11, 2015 | 2:54 pm

     
  20. Lee says:

    Byaheng Langit. Hahaha

    Sep 12, 2015 | 1:21 pm

     
  21. TPS says:

    I saw similar ones being sold in Sta Cruz decades back, and being a naive college girl, I asked the vendor what those are for. He was a bit flummoxed, blushed, and replied, “hindi para sa babae ‘yan.”

    Sep 13, 2015 | 3:16 pm

     
  22. millet says:

    have seen that sold outside sto, nino church in cebu and i thought they were earrings, until i saw the sign. now laughing out loud at the “pageluk” in the sign. seriously, though, my OB friend says that a couple of times in her career, she has fished out these things that probably had probably come undone and been left inside…..ugh!

    Sep 14, 2015 | 7:31 am

     
  23. shane says:

    it’s still being sold in quiapo…just a few steps away from quiapo church…and like Titanon i avoided looking at them for fear that staring too much would imply interest…

    Sep 15, 2015 | 6:29 pm

     
  24. Mon Yadao says:

    Call me naive, but, what would happen (pray tell) should it be ‘left behind’?

    Sep 16, 2015 | 10:54 am

     
  25. Kasseopeia says:

    Oh my!
    Mon Yadao: I guess someone needs to reach in and extract it… emergency room or not. :D

    Sep 16, 2015 | 1:49 pm

     
  26. Footloose says:

    A baby coming to this world armed with a fur amulet?

    Sep 16, 2015 | 4:59 pm

     
  27. Ted says:

    Found this as a description on how to use the ring:

    Have 1,001 Arabian orgasms! Soak the Goats Eye in warm water 5 minutes before sex and place around the shaft. During erection the ring will tighten itself and with each thrust the fine hairs will stimulate the clitoris and the opening to the vagina.

    If the MM review board determines this is X rated, you’re welcome to delete. lol

    Sep 17, 2015 | 4:12 am

     
  28. Marketman says:

    Ted, it’s x-rated but just too amusing to delete… :) And for those inclined to try it, listen to this sage advice from our handyman translated and animated motions not included “make sure you put it at the base of the trunk, not near the tip” :)

    Sep 17, 2015 | 12:08 pm

     
  29. jim says:

    MM and Ted, yes it is indeed amusing and mind popping…thanks. But have you or anyone here have had the pleasure of using it? Come on please share now…..LOL!

    Sep 20, 2015 | 11:19 pm

     
  30. Ariel says:

    Filipino seamen are sought after

    http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/08/the-strange-sexual-quirk-of-filipino-seafarers/278285/

    Just curious is it washing machine safe

    Oct 3, 2015 | 3:28 pm

     
  31. elias says:

    san mabibili yan pilik mata?

    Jul 30, 2016 | 9:12 pm

     
  32. Genelyn necesito says:

    May COD ba kayo ng goat eyelashes??

    Sep 30, 2016 | 11:19 am

     
  33. jherwin says:

    asa dpit ang nag balig ya ug goat eye dire cebu?
    :)

    Dec 20, 2016 | 11:23 am

     
  34. Rocky says:

    Where can I buy this toy in Cebu? send me a reply through this email please rockymarcianoj@gmail.com. Thanks.. this would be a great help.

    Mar 12, 2017 | 4:32 pm

     
 

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