17 Sep2013

IMG_7275

Abolish pork barrel now (despite my misgivings that some pork barrel does actually end up with admirable causes/uses, the evil side of the equation needs to be stamped out for good). Just keep eating your lechon, crispy pata, barbecue, nilaga, bacon like you always used to… :)

Our latest custom-designed pork roasting inferno was begging for a name, so we christened her “_ _ _ _ _” Hahaha. Please, no guesses in the comments section below, I don’t want to malign anyone.

Here is some ridiculous off-the-top-of-Marketman’s head trivia:

How much money fits in a bathtub?

The size of the tub matters. But if you have a smallish one, say 24x60x18 inches, that would equal 25,920 cubic inches of space. A brick (ten bundles of 100 bills, hence 1000 bills total) of brand new bills at 6.5×2.5×4 inches equals just 65 cubic inches of space. But a brick with old fluffy bills of PHP1,000 denominations each might take up as much as 100 cubic inches. So if you are only talking brand new PHP1,000 bills, the said bathtub could theoretically hold a whopping 398.8 million pesos! Assuming some of the bills were oldish, and some of them might have been PHP500 denominations, and there was lots of space in-between bundles and bricks or even shopping or duffle bags in the equation, then a bathtub could, in theory store anywhere between PHP200-398 million in cash. A California King sized bed could in theory hold at least double or triple that, if stacked neatly like a chunky pyramid and it had good springs. Seriously. :)

How much milk do you need for a reasonable bath in the same said bathtub (assuming it is just 60% full of liquid, and the occupant takes up say another 20-25% of the space, leaving a head room of say 15%?

If the space you need to fill is 15,552 cubic inches (25,920 x 60%), and a liter of milk is equivalent to 61 cubic inches, then you would need 255 liters of milk to take a milk bath. A dermatologist friend recently told me that milk baths would indeed be good for the skin, if you could afford the luxury. At say PHP60 a liter for UHT long-life milk, that would cost an estimated PHP15,300 per bath! But how tacky naman, no, if you use UHT brick milk. If you were going to splurge, wouldn’t you at least get fresh carabao’s milk, or perhaps the fresh milk in cartons that isn’t UHT processed? That might double the cost of the bath to say PHP30,000 per use. And I don’t suppose more than one person would use the bath (eeew!), not to mention recycling it as say cat drinks or inputs for your leche flan… :)

How heavy is a bag filled with say PHP25 million in cash (assuming PHP1,000 bills)?

Again assuming crisp new bills, each bill weighs in at 1 gram (I checked on my kitchen digital scale for a bundle of 100 100-peso bills) so a bundle is 100 grams and a brick of 1,000 bills is roughly 1 kilogram, more or less, depending on paper band widths used to bunch them together. If the bills are old, dirty, moist, icky, I suspect the maximum weight would be say 1.2 kilograms. So a bag filled with PHP25 million in new PHP1,000 bills would weigh roughly 25 kilos, plus bag/bayong/leather carrying case. Or a maximum of say 28 kilos, or 60 pounds, just between the weight of an economy class maleta (50 pounds) and a first class maleta (70 pounds) to the U.S. If the bills were in PHP500 denominations, double the weight.

 

COMMENTS:

  1. millet says:

    and since the milk was obviously not for beautifying, i assume it was for thickening the skin….?

    Sep 17, 2013 | 4:06 pm

     
  2. ami says:

    Deja vu. Wasn’t there a whole discussion in the Senate back in Erap’s impeachment trial on how heavy a bayong full of money is? I remember Ramon Revilla animatedly discussing his past experience of handling that much money.

    If there’s one thing I still remember from my college days, it’s what I learned from my Poligov class on the 3 distinct branches of government. The senate and congress, being the legislative branch, should not have pork barrel because it is not their role to implement projects such as infrastructure, etc. Their primary role is create laws.

    Sep 17, 2013 | 4:30 pm

     
  3. Marketman says:

    Oops, my bad. I assumed all of the liquid had to be milk for the milk bath. It seems one has to add milk to water and as such, a “milk bath” of the diluted kind could cost much less, say a few hundred to a thousand or two “only” if the cow’s milk were diluted with bath water. I just thought it should be all milk for the maximum skin care benefits… So I stand corrected if anyone is now aghast that I don’t know how to take a milk bath… I don’t even like baths… why would one want to wallow in your own dirty water? :)

    Sep 17, 2013 | 4:38 pm

     
  4. Lei says:

    Finally, I was really waiting for your take on all this depravity caused by so much greediness. I still cannot help but be dismayed every time we read/hear about this news.

    Really praying for our country, and for good men to prevail in the end!

    Sep 17, 2013 | 5:24 pm

     
  5. Monty says:

    25kg for 25 million means a total of 75kg for the 75 million Kapunan was barking about. That’s not beyond the realm of possibility for one person to carry.

    Maybe we need to demonitize our currency on a regular basis so all those illegal cash hordes come out in the open. I think it happened once during Cory’s time, but I don’t know how effective it was in ferreting out the hordes of cash Marcos and their cronies stashed.

    Sep 17, 2013 | 9:51 pm

     
  6. linap. says:

    Still praying for our beloved country . Sad to hear news from our country.. palagi na lang bad news . To consider OFWs are sacrificing their life abroad.. ..away from their families just to be able to send their young kids to school and of course the annual remittance is helping the economy tremendously but this ignorant politicians really… doesnt care about our country . I’M SAD FOR OUR YOUNG GENERATION they dont have a future in our country unless they go abroad.

    Sep 18, 2013 | 3:39 am

     
  7. ricky gonzalez says:

    Mr. Monty, we discovered ours rather late. Stack of 5 pesos and 20 pesos bagong lipunan bills was left by my “tatay” in our vault. It was for xmas season gift giving, before he passed away. We only found the bills, when Typhoon Ondoy flooded our office and had to clean out the vault. Sayang.

    Sep 18, 2013 | 7:52 am

     
  8. ricky gonzalez says:

    mr. marketman, re milk bath, you can buy milk crystals that you add to the bath water. No need for fresh milk. As for bath taking, we do it the Japanese way, you bathe with soap and rinse with clean water, before plunging yourself in the bath. This way the bath water is always clean and can be reused the whole day. Soaking in warm water after a hard days work is pure bliss, once you get the hang of it.

    Sep 18, 2013 | 7:54 am

     
  9. Marketman says:

    ricky, I completely agree a warm/hot soak can be soothing and relaxing, and like the Japanese way you describe, though often Japanese hot baths have running water, do they not, so the water is “changing” constantly in a sense. And really hot water might kill off germs, or if not hot enough encourage them to multiply rather quickly. Bathing before entering a ryokan’s bath certainly helps with the images of “cooties”, and isn’t unlike say swimming in a public pool, though the latter uses intense amounts of chlorine, to help kill off precisely many of those “cooties”… Jacuzzis in hotels and other public uses also put chlorine. :) However, most home baths are rather small-ish in size and have “still” water, so aren’t typically designed for multi-person use I would imagine, with the exception of those scenes in movies with couples frolicking under all those bath bubbles. I am more of a shower person, really. :) As for the milk crystals, you are correct, and though I have never used them, they have certainly been on shelves beside hotel bathtubs I have seen. But real milk is the truly OTT way to go…

    Sep 18, 2013 | 8:43 am

     
  10. ami says:

    MM, I think you’re more likely to see hot running water at onsens that are sitting on top of or near the source. I don’t remember seeing running water for the tub at my foster family’s house.

    Sep 18, 2013 | 10:00 am

     
  11. Gigi says:

    Japanese hot baths (still water) in residential houses ARE designed for multiple uses. Each family member takes their turn in soaking, which is why it is so important that one be clean before entering the tub.
    Premixed milk bath powder can be bought for less than USD 50. You can even buy them from Body Shop.
    But of course, I digress from the more important pork barrel issue! What is sad is that this is truly just the tip of the iceberg. Who knows what else is happening at the LGU and executive department levels?!

    Sep 18, 2013 | 10:28 am

     
  12. MP says:

    Wouldn’t we be doing great service to our country if we soaked “her”, “sexy”, “pogi” and “tanda” in a bathtub filed with boiling water… Or oil? There’s no tub big enough to include those that voted for them… Darn!

    Sep 18, 2013 | 10:53 am

     
  13. Marketman says:

    MP, I agree, the country gets those they voted for… Some of the most unlikely “public servants” got there on the minimum of qualifications… So some of the blame does revert to the population in general…

    Sep 18, 2013 | 2:17 pm

     
  14. Nadia says:

    Hi. Where can we get that awesome sticker? :-)

    Sep 18, 2013 | 8:53 pm

     
  15. Marketman says:

    Nadia, it was sent over by a friend, not sure how they are being passed around…

    Sep 18, 2013 | 9:16 pm

     
  16. netoy says:

    MM – on another topic but still related to pigs (but of the edible variety) LOL. I was watching KrisTV yesterday where Gawad Kalinga’s Enchanted Farm is being featured. They were talking about one of their products: ‘organic’ pigs for lechon. Kris mentioned (and I am paraphrasing) ‘just like Zubuchon in Cebu”. The quality of your product is really now being bandied around. Three cheers for you and your staff!!!!

    Sep 18, 2013 | 9:49 pm

     
  17. Marketman says:

    Hi Netoy, thanks for that heads up… a few readers have sent emails about that episode, so I gather Kris is a very highly rated show… I didn’t see it, but of course Zubuchon is grateful for all the positive media sound bites it can get… :)

    Sep 19, 2013 | 6:55 am

     
 

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