16 Nov2009


How about some outrageous bathroom humor early on a Monday morning? My current poll on readers preferences with respect to soaping themselves in the shower shows how there are different strokes for different folks. But the serendipity/mischievous gods were watching out for us yesterday… Mrs. MM and I were shopping for handicrafts at the request of a U.S. based friend, so we found ourselves at Tesoro’s, that venerable house of Philippine crafts for the past 64 years, and found the most outrageously funny item on their shelves. Just next to the coffee and other food items, were some soaps. Mrs. MM picked one up and burst out laughing. I read the label and burst into uncontrollable laughter as well, and I quote:

Antiseptic Herbal Soap that keeps your private part (I didn’t know many men only had one part, not several PARTS) clean and free from unpleasant odor due to bacteria. Clinically proven to be safe, mild and gentle. Use morning and night or as needed for best great feeling. TUTTI-FRUITI flavor (note spelling).”


The packaging seems to suggest this is a Swedish product (but the website says it uses Philippine herbs), and this imported? soap is 3x more expensive than Safeguard! Of course I had to buy one, so I could take a photo for this post. The saleslady at Tesoro’s tried hard to keep a straight face. These would make great gag presents for office Kris Kringle exchange gift silliness. Or to put in stockings on Christmas Eve. And if you want to laugh some more, you have to read this link to the corporate website that explains who the soap is for and how best to use it. TOO FUNNY.



  1. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    Hahahaha…….now, can we also call this ORGANIC soap?

    Nov 16, 2009 | 5:36 am


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  3. betty q. says:

    OK…Silly Lolo…you’re on! I know what you are thinking!…I can just imagine the flavour…BUBBLE GUM for one thing!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 6:38 am

  4. zena says:

    Did you taste it, MM, if it’s really Tutti-Fruiti? =)

    Nov 16, 2009 | 6:55 am

  5. Hatari says:

    Yup…men and their several ‘parts’..there’s Bill, Ted and…DIck

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:08 am

  6. yel says:


    Where can I find one? I think it is hightime that we get our own soap. But the flavor really makes me laugh.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:20 am

  7. Jade186 says:

    Seriously, I think the Tutti Frutti flavour would make the lollipop more delicious.
    * delete my comment if not appropriate*

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:41 am

  8. cumin says:

    MM, another collectors item would be the official condoms issued to the Beijing Olympics athlete. Apparently the pack carries the Olympic slogan (?) in Chinese and English: Stronger, Faster, Higher! :-)

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:42 am

  9. emsy says:

    OMG. I just have to get one of these for Kris Kringle! Good idea MM!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:43 am

  10. aji says:

    I almost wet my pants when I read the “Directions for Use”.

    Laugh trip.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:44 am

  11. millet says:

    HAHAHA!!! first, pacman’s win, and now, this……great way to start the week!

    and yes, Artisan Chocolatier….it certainly is ORGANic soap, hehe…

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:47 am

  12. Betchay says:

    I used to see this on the shelves of Mercury Drug.I think it’s a local product and maybe they just export to Sweden, land of sex! It is the name that is funny but I think if there are Feminine Hygiene products like Lactacyd, PH care etc… why not a male hygiene wash?

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:52 am

  13. Connie C says:

    Whoever writes the product information knows how to make one’s imagination run wild. Mentholated “tutti fruiti”flavored soap ? Must really be cool, this male hygiene wash, by the electric fan. Wonder if it will make you dance. It has menthe ( read menthol) and buyers beware, the product was not tested on animals, it says. Wonder who they tested it on.

    And if it is okay for the “singit”, why not the “kili kili” as well.?…LOL.

    MM, thanks for the laugh.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 8:14 am

  14. emsy says:

    “A must for all ages Teenagers; Bachelors Papas; Lolos Priests Brothers Monks and Gays!”

    I think this is the funniest line in that website, hands down! They should put this on the label!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 8:19 am

  15. Bea says:

    I’m not sure how this is a Swedish product. I saw this product in Landmark, then a feature on it in the Ayala Alabang Village News– two oldish Pinays started the business. They also have a “Vagi-” counterpart.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 8:52 am

  16. Lei says:

    hahhah!!! and did you notice that they had a counterpart product for the ladies as well? “fem-tight”, hahhaha which claims to have a tightening effect on the ladies’ … as well!!! hahahaha!!! hope we have a nice and funny week ahead of us all.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:02 am

  17. natie says:

    SSoooo funny!!! Sweden, eh???

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:11 am

  18. Edik says:

    when there’s a vaginal wash (What’s the name of that pink packaging vaginal wash I mistook for a shampoo?), i think there should be a Peni Fresh too. interesting. try ko nga.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:16 am

  19. kiko says:

    Thanks for the link to the corporate website! It was worth the extra click! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Singit* & *Balls* HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:24 am

  20. ENYA says:

    The website says:
    ” Direction of Use
    Use as regular soap from the waist down to your private part. DO not forget your “singit,” buttocks and the in betweens including the “balls.” For best result use morning and night and/or as the occasion calls for. This Peni Fresh gives you a wonderful feeling of fresh, erotic sensation with the Tutti-frutti essence.”


    Btw, did you guys click on the “The Lady” part of the website? The owner of the company that manufactures this soap has summer homes in Sweden. Ah… kaya pala distributed there also? :)

    Nov 16, 2009 | 10:03 am

  21. el_jefe says:

    Hwahahahha!!! nakakatawa si ORO ha ”the father of Philippine Pharmacy” kinategorya nya talaga ang mga uri ng lalake ha…papas..fathers..brothers monks..young..gays…etc. hwhahaha! eh kahit anu pa propesyon nun ke effem man o macho….lalake padin biologically speaking hehhehe…Shet! At may anghit at putok ang singet? Hahahha!!!Pero tama naman cya nun sinabi nyang…”use when certain occasion calls for it” hahhaha! Meron ba nito sa Mercury Drug Store? Magandang Pangregalo-pangasar tong sabon na ito hwehhehe!!!! MM mamigay ka kaya dun sa ”fictional” na okasyong dadaluhan mo with Martha Stewart? hehehhe!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 10:38 am

  22. betty q. says:

    Ok…have to eat my words!!!! My pharmacist-husband is not amused!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 11:29 am

  23. Fran says:

    You know, there is one of these for women as well. When I lived in the Philippines I got one as a gag gift from a colleague for a birthday and I had this thing about not throwing gifts away. I didn’t want to insult anyone — not like they would know — but I just couldn’t. I still have one of those little ceramic angels in a cabinet that I can’t part with because I think it would be rude. Anyway, I got the bar of soap for women and I put it in the drawer of my nightstand.

    I always worried that the woman that took care of my house would find it and I’d die of embarrassment. I suspect she found it and that I was the butt of a whole lot of jokes behind the scenes, but I put it out of my mind … until now. LOL

    Nov 16, 2009 | 11:58 am

  24. joan says:

    “the soap is highly recommended for bachelor papas, lolos, priests, monks, brothers and gays”…this line made me laugh the most!!!! what a diverse target clientel. hahahaha!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 12:05 pm

  25. Johnny says:

    ah just use ur rexona for the singit after taking a bath, i just discover last oct 5….100% very clean ..thats the secret….

    Nov 16, 2009 | 12:05 pm

  26. Alicia says:

    This is hilarious!
    What is it with our country’s preoccupation with personal hygiene products? Have you ever noticed the advertising budgets for feminine wash? More than any other country I think!!! It’s good I suppose that we like to keep things fresh down there!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 12:15 pm

  27. Jannah says:

    so funny!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 12:20 pm

  28. Paula says:

    Nov 16, 2009 | 12:58 pm

  29. crazydenzki says:

    i’m usually just a lurker…pero natawa ako dito that i have to express it! wahahaha! panalo!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 1:02 pm

  30. anski says:

    MM, here’s another hilarious product for the male population: http://www.freshballs.com

    Nov 16, 2009 | 3:17 pm

  31. Joyce says:

    Nov 16, 2009 | 3:38 pm

  32. Joyce says:

    “Use as regular soap from the waist down to your private part. DO not forget your “singit,” buttocks and the in betweens including the “balls.” For best result use morning and night and/or as the occasion calls for. This Peni Fresh gives you a wonderful feeling of fresh, erotic sensation with the Tutti-frutti essence.”

    unbelievable, so funny hehe

    Nov 16, 2009 | 3:38 pm

  33. Gener says:

    PENI SOAP with tutti frutti flavor,,,OH! i wonder if they do many experiments with this product to prove how to turn-on and better sensation…Will this attract and trigger better intercourse or just intended for hygienic purpose. Im sure many see this as absurd but mentally it will create something that will make our hormone life-up! Men are always looking for better and new ways to make our partners pleased that even we tried to made it even more than 7 heavens if we can!…I was shocked too that i even seen and watched advertisement promoting a “WONDER BRA”, sounds intended for women but its actually for MEN,,,I mean a support-bra for mens “twin balls” which i considered absurd BUT if ever that i will imagine the comfort of using it,,,i mean its not bad after all…

    Nov 16, 2009 | 3:41 pm

  34. Lex says:

    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too funny to by-pass. Who ever wrote the web page needs basic lessons in grammar.

    “Your daily male hygiene ritual!
    A must for all ages Teenagers; Bachelors Papas; Lolos Priests Brothers Monks and Gays!”

    Note the missing commas!!! This is almost as bad as the packaging of China made products sold in 168 and Rue de la Div.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 4:31 pm

  35. anteros' dominion says:

    ang totoo niyan, mayruong yang counterpart na pambabae–femme fresh

    mabibili rin yan sa sm department stores

    hindi sa supermarket nila

    kundi dun sa area na nagbebenta ng mga filipiniana at mga pandisplay na pinoy

    Nov 16, 2009 | 5:32 pm

  36. Cris Jose says:

    What the —-?!? This is absolutely hilarious! Can someone translate “singit” in english for me?
    “Use as regular soap from the waist down to your private part. DO not forget your “singit,” buttocks and the in betweens including the “balls.” – TAMA NAMAN DI BA?… THE BALLS ARE IN BETWEEN THE TWO SINGITS? LOL….

    As for the Fem Tight – how the hell is that supposed to tighten one’s private part, I wonder? Is one supposed to use it as a douche?

    Nov 16, 2009 | 5:55 pm

  37. deirdregurl says:

    @comment#33 Lex: i love the Rue de la Div hahaha sounds really french, divisoria lang pala heehee

    sooo FUNNY!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:07 pm

  38. Connie C says:

    deirdregurl: In case you did not know already, there is also the “Ile-de-tulle” ( sa ilalim ng tulay) in Quiapo where you may find some interesting Philippine made crafts at a fraction of the cost at Tesoro’s, tho they may not have the herbal Peni Fresh, he, he….just beware and hold on tight to your wallets and purses.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:40 pm

  39. faith says:

    Paula, that made me LOL IRL. Thanks for sharing!

    MM, thanks for posting. Sure a highlight to my day. I kept laughing while reading the post and comments. :D

    Nov 16, 2009 | 7:44 pm

  40. aji says:

    anski, the freshballs site made me laugh out loud here at the office. :P

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:23 pm

  41. millet says:

    MM, i put a link to your article in my FB page, and everyone got a good of laughs (a lot of folks plan to give them as stocking stuffers and as gag gifts (i suspect some want to give it a serious try) as well, so the makers of the soap should thank you for the increase in sales generated by your “advertisement”!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 9:50 pm

  42. Mari says:

    Oh my goodness! this is hilarious! I wish I can get it for our Secret Santa….I can’t stop laughing right now!

    Nov 16, 2009 | 10:00 pm

  43. RoBStaR says:

    Hahahah thanks for the tip….This will make a great gag gift to people in the us. No more man in the barrel.

    Nov 16, 2009 | 10:28 pm

  44. Dennis says:

    ORO lab and Citrobelle…I remember them from my younger years. Citrobelle was a popular facial wash in the 70s, kinda like Eskinol (?)

    Nov 16, 2009 | 11:28 pm

  45. Fards says:

    this is soooooo funny. And so are the feedbacks. Ha,ha,ha.

    Nov 17, 2009 | 4:34 am

  46. Fabian M says:

    FUNNIEST thing I’ve seen in a while. Apparently ORO Lab also says FEM TIGHT V Soap. Says so in the website.

    Nov 17, 2009 | 10:25 am

  47. Rico says:

    I don’t know if you’re heard of it but there’s a product targeted specifically to having clean and fresh “balls.” It’s called Fresh Balls. See here for details: https://www.freshballs.com/

    Nov 17, 2009 | 10:30 am

  48. The Artist Chef says:

    Surprisingly this made me laugh on an early Tuesday morning! Nice one!!! :p

    Nov 17, 2009 | 11:11 am

  49. yen says:

    this is funny. thanks for posting. and buying the soap so that you can post about it. what great sacrifices you have to make for your blog. you might as well use the soap. haha.

    Nov 17, 2009 | 12:46 pm

  50. yen says:

    what an entertaining website oro enterprises has.

    also, i wonder why tesoro’s carries this soap.

    Nov 17, 2009 | 12:48 pm

  51. Belgin says:

    Alam nyo po walang pinagkaiba ang sabon na yan sa toothpaste na pwede rin gamitin para “feeling fresh” down there.

    Nov 17, 2009 | 1:29 pm

  52. Marketman says:

    Belgin, TOOTHPASTE?!? :)

    Nov 17, 2009 | 1:44 pm

  53. Gener says:

    TOOTHPASTE??? Nya-ha-ha,, That is so COOL and cold!…Yeah,, I used toothpaste for removing fish-smell from my hands whenever i ate fish…it works…So it may work on testicles too…

    Nov 17, 2009 | 1:54 pm

  54. Belgin says:

    Yes toothpaste! Well my dearest husband discovered the other usefulness of toothpaste when we forgot to bring soap in one of our camping trip. He said if the toothpaste can clean and refreshes his mouth, it must work the same thing down there too. Guess what he’s right!

    To any adventurer out there, subukan po ninyo upang malaman….ha ha ha ha!

    Nov 17, 2009 | 2:32 pm

  55. cumin says:

    My gulay! I giggled yesterday, but now I’m falling off my chair in heaving laughter!

    MM, I sent a link to this post to friends overseas for a laugh, and now they want me to buy the soap for them as a joke. Which Tesoro’s branch, please? Thanks.

    Maybe laughing about this post makes up for the fury over latest fishpan awardee (the organic fair logo designer). :-)

    Nov 17, 2009 | 5:14 pm

  56. Marketman says:

    cumin Tesoro’s on Pasay Road. But some folks seem to think this product is also for sale at some Mercury Drugstores. Be ready for the amused looks from the tinderas or saleladies when you buy these…

    Nov 17, 2009 | 6:00 pm

  57. botchok says:

    My pc had a virus so i spent the whole day tinkering with it. I haven’t read a post from MM since saturday, so i just read this.It’s 2 am tuesday morning and i’m laughing while the whole neighborhood is sound asleep. Everytime we went home, my mom always shop at tesoro’s but i never saw that soap before. Maybe another contest for the soap MM! hahaha!

    Nov 17, 2009 | 6:26 pm

  58. Jade186 says:

    This post would inadvertently increase the sales of this soap…Marketman the accidental advertiser/promoter…the company might even send a box of soap as a gift – eventual contest raffle! hehe

    Nov 17, 2009 | 7:06 pm

  59. angusman says:

    Perhaps a mint flavor is in order… for confidence!

    Nov 18, 2009 | 7:53 am

  60. cumin says:

    Thanks, MM. I think I’d rather go to Tesoro’s — not as crowded as Mercury :-) Will have a big laugh with the salesladies!

    Nov 18, 2009 | 10:22 am

  61. Lilibeth says:

    That is so funny! I wonder if it’s available here in the US?

    Nov 18, 2009 | 10:34 am

  62. erleen says:

    I also saw one at a local supermarket in our area(puregold, i think), it says “virginity Soap”!

    Will take a picture if I can pass by there this week.

    Nov 19, 2009 | 5:06 pm

  63. Raneli says:

    I came across the female version of the said soap at Mercury drug and bought one to use out of curiosity. The name of this saop Femme Tight (pink saop case)was suppose to help “tighten” my so called private parts. HAHAHA..some claim it was. I am married and have given birth three years ago and what i can tell you is that, such experience of tightness has no bearing at all . the scent of the soap was close to the laundry bar,Perla..and I’m pretty sure the tutti fruitti scent of Peni fresh would have made a better impression/impact on me…hahahaha

    Nov 20, 2009 | 2:05 am

  64. Lilibeth says:

    I’m just enjoying all of the comments specially the one about the Femme Tight :) I can’t stop laughing!

    Nov 20, 2009 | 4:30 pm

  65. wil-b cariaga says:

    I tried this a few years ago, i found it at mercury drug in powerplant i think, hehehe, has this slight menthol fresh effect after use. . .but i think its overpriced now hehehe

    Nov 22, 2009 | 3:07 pm

  66. dragon says:

    MM, having the peni-fresh soap article with the crab photo on you banner….

    Marietta Guanzon Holmgren was married to a Swede, hence the Swedish connection. Saw her market her personal products (herself!) during one of the breakfast business meetings at the AIM years ago…such a character and pretty funny too.

    Here in Melbourne, difficult to find feminine wash…

    Dec 16, 2009 | 12:13 pm

  67. Ipe says:

    Mrs. Holmgren is actually a friend of mine, and yes, she’s a great businesswoman and quite perky and bubbly too! Who else would have the guts to market “private part” soaps in a somewhat conservative country? Hehehe!

    Great blog MM! You inspire the home-chef in me! :D

    Jan 22, 2010 | 11:40 am


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