Mall owners listen up! Just put in bigger bloody pipes, stronger water pressure and better sewage handling systems! Wake up and smell the fecal matter! Itâ€™s disgusting! My inaugural rant is on a subject closely related to food and my intestinal tract. What goes in must definitely come out. And there is nothing more horrific than going to a nice restaurant in a relatively new mall only to go to the bathroom and be greeted with some bizarre version of this message: â€œDo not throw your soiled toilet paper in the bowl to prevent clogging our pipes. Please use our trash cans (that are often not lined with plastic). Thank you.â€ (Note: picture is not meant to offend anyone who holds cows in a high regard. Taken at a roadside meat stand in Batangas, it is my way of saying â€œkachunkâ€ with slashing movement along the neck area, or â€œdead meatâ€ with respect to the specific rant it is attached to. )
Good grief! Am I the only one incensed by this practice (of the last twenty years only, I note) that has spread like wildfire across the poopy metropolis? Am I so old that there are three generations after me who think it is normal to poop, wipe and dump it in the trash (pun intended)? Letâ€™s analyze this carefully. Mall owner hires architects and engineers, they review potential human traffic through their malls, they can (or at least I can) predict the volume of caca that will go through the pipes on an average day, they know how big the pipes really should be, how much water pressure is needed to push the stuff through the system and what is needed to process the sludge before it is released to the outside world. And yet they apparently DO NOT DO WHAT IS REQUIRED and thus condone the now near universal Philippine practice of trashing the poop. Yuck is right. But perhaps they are not the only culprit. Do Filipinos use far more toilet paper than the average human who uses toilet paper? Is our toilet paper so tough that it doesnâ€™t degrade in the water? Or do we have such massive poops that we are bound to clog even the $19 million dollar hi-tech toilets on a space shuttle? Is this the only civilized country that espouses this now widespread practice? Are we sending millions of kababayans off to Paris, New York and Stockholm who then shockingly dump their soiled tissues in the trash bins at swanky restaurants?
If I were to rent a 200 m2 space for a restaurant in a mall at close to P200,000 a month plus utilities, donâ€™t you think I would demand flushable toilets? Just as you consume a sublime foie gras dâ€™oie (goose liver) and your own bladder sends signals, you have to take a leak and, if female, wipe with paper and then place it in a trash bin before flushing the toilet?! This is not normal behavior!!! You do not or should not do this in your own house or the houses of friends either. No. No. No.
I NEVER FOLLOW THESE DISGUSTING INSTRUCTIONS and I always flush my paper. Clogging be damned. Havenâ€™t they heard of Avian Flu? Or strange other diseases caused by close contact to fecal and other internal matters? Are they not concerned about the garbage handlers who will come into contact with the soiled trash? I am so incensed I am thinking of taking Green Peace type â€œactionsâ€ like mass pooping in a target mall where everyone flushes the paper and causes some explosive eruption of soiled toilet paper that makes it to the front pages of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. But seriously, this is really disgusting and somebody has to do something about it.