25 Sep2008

apicio1

The minute I opened this silly little book “The Superior Person’s Book of Words,” by Peter Bowler, and read the first page, the first person I thought of was Apicio, a marketmanila suki. I often look forward to Apicio’s comments as they always add something interesting, intelligent, positive and valuable to the conversations that follow a particular post. I know many other readers feel the same way I do and every time Apicio hies off for an extended period of tropical hibernation (albeit with mojito in hand) on some Brazilian beach for 5+ months out of the year, I get at least a dozen or two emails wondering if something horrible has happened to this celebrity status commenter. Though Apicio always sends me an email to take his leave privately, I figured I would write this post before he boarded his flight so that if he hadn’t yet read this silly little book, he could pick u a copy on the way to the airport… But then again, I have a funny feeling he would know 90+% of the words in this book.

To give you an idea of the entries in this book… and I quote:

“ABECEDARIAN INSULT, AN – ‘Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facilinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic napform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning zoophyte.’ Translation: ‘Sir, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, thick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellant, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life.’

HAHAHAHA!!! Don’t you love it? Can you see Marketman frothing at the mouth screeching that insult in alphabetical order? :)

apicio2

But better yet, for years I have tried to dream up a name for a mythical Marketman restaurant and every time I think of a name, it seems someone has already discovered and used it… Until I found AEAEAE. Yup, the only 6 letter all vowel word in the english language, according to Mr. Bowler. Pronounced “eye-eye-eye” according to this link, it could also be pronounced as “a-yea-ya” according to this link. Bowler defines AEAEAE as, and I quote, “Magic…the derivation is from Aeaeae, which was a surname of the legendary pig-fancier Circe and the name of a small island off the cost of Italy…” Isn’t it cool? The problem is it isn’t practical. I can’t imagine saying that word properly with a Cebuano accent, maybe “ee-ee-ee” or maybe “eeya-eeya-eeya”…Hahaha… But I do like the way it refers to a pig-fancier. And a reference to magic, food magic, that is. Maybe the restaurant could serve lechon and all things porky, infused with a special potion to keep customers coming back again and again…

And finally, when I feel the urge to utter the word STUPID, I will simply say “Oh my, are we being acerebral today?” One without a brain. :)

 

COMMENTS:

  1. Vanessa says:

    That was funny. Pig-fancier, indeed!

    Sep 25, 2008 | 4:30 pm

     
  2. Mel says:

    Is acerebral a synonym of excerebrose? Or is it a conjugation?

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:01 pm

     
  3. Marketman says:

    Mel, hahaha. I would say it is a synonym. But easier to say quickly than excerebrose, which I would define as smart exercising… i.e., gorging on pork… hahaha. :)

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:03 pm

     
  4. lee says:

    I have said this more than once and I will say it again:

    I am an Apicionado

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:05 pm

     
  5. mary joan says:

    MM, those words would have been perfect for the fishpan lady, and all those who posted insults on your blog. the problem is they would not have understood (being “acerebral” as they are) and thought you were being nice to them! hehehehe

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:33 pm

     
  6. zena says:

    The entire post is funny and the comments make it more so.
    “Apicionado.” Hahaha! His absence will be felt. Have a safe and enjoyable trip. =)

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:35 pm

     
  7. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    “A YEA` YA”!!!!….The next Yahoo!

    MM, You should have a big AEAEAE streamer over your gate during the lechon eyeball.

    Sep 25, 2008 | 5:58 pm

     
  8. edee says:

    i’m one of those who will miss Apicio’s comments as well…..an Apicionado too :) ….. enjoy your “tropical hibernation” :)

    Sep 25, 2008 | 6:16 pm

     
  9. Apicio says:

    Thanks. You guys make me feel self-conscious but I really enjoy your company, no drama (as we say in Filipino, walang eczema). Speaking of words and dinners,

    Instead of bouquet or a bottle I use to bring a box of After Eight, a chocolate flavored after dinner mint whenever I got invited to dinner. One time I brought Ovation, a new product of the same company who made After Eight. They were tiny chocolate covered mint batons. Imagine my intense embarrassment when the hostess called everyone’s attention and offered my Ovulation.

    And as a lagniappe, I bet nobody in present company suffers from deipnophobia (fear of dinner parties). See you around Easter everyone.

    Sep 25, 2008 | 7:49 pm

     
  10. corrine says:

    hahaha! How nice to laugh on a cool, rainy night! That’s a sosyal way of saying “S”. I will definitely try that. haha! Have a nice vacation, Apicio!

    Sep 25, 2008 | 8:49 pm

     
  11. ragamuffin girl says:

    love this book, will buy

    Sep 25, 2008 | 9:12 pm

     
  12. cumin says:

    Aaaah Apicio will be missed. Good luck with your adventures, Apicio.

    Sep 25, 2008 | 9:42 pm

     
  13. Tricia says:

    Apicio will be away for that long?? On some far away beach??

    Wow… :)

    Sep 25, 2008 | 10:04 pm

     
  14. Jean says:

    Ha Ha! I think I’ll just have to get this for my husband. We both love vocabulary and I think he’ll get a good laugh out of it.

    Hi, MM! I’m a frequent lurker (as in everyday!) but I think this is my first post. I came upon your site when I was looking for an adobo recipe a couple of years ago (trying to expand my filipino cooking repertoire), and I haven’t left since!

    Incidentally, while we were in Europe last week, I saw your post on the books you’re reading. I had to show my husband your post because your stack looked much like ours. He actually had his Black Swan book with him on our trip (which we took turns reading).

    Keep up the great posts!

    Sep 25, 2008 | 10:10 pm

     
  15. eej says:

    Apicio, hope you got all the requisite shots for that part of the world. Don’t leave home without it.

    Saude!

    Sep 25, 2008 | 10:16 pm

     
  16. New Yorker says:

    I enjoy reading Apicio’s cerebral, interesting and witty comments, as they quite often give me food for thought. I look forward to reading his comments when he gets back from vakay.

    So I suppose it’s not a coincidence that Apicio goes by the name/alias Apicio. According to Wiki, Apicius = name associated with excessive love of food. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apicius.

    Sep 25, 2008 | 10:37 pm

     
  17. millet says:

    one of the funniest posts! and i knew lee would have a witty reply. and i knew this post is exactly the thing for apicio!

    have fun, apicio! what, no internet in your destination? easter’s a long time.

    Sep 25, 2008 | 10:57 pm

     
  18. Naz says:

    Watch it…you call someone a “acerebral” and he/she might even thank and kiss you. He/she might think he/she is a ‘celebrity’.

    Everyone is wishing to be “apicionistic” or “apicionista”

    Sep 26, 2008 | 12:18 am

     
  19. Rudy Portugal says:

    MM,

    It can sound like another political party: “APICIOLISTA” Asta la vista Apicio.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 1:25 am

     
  20. Dennis says:

    Good Luck and have fun Apicio, from another apicionado.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 4:28 am

     
  21. k. ramos says:

    Happy trip, Apicio! =D

    Sep 26, 2008 | 5:33 am

     
  22. natie says:

    have a relaxing loooonnggg vacation, apicio. i’ll say it again, you will be missed. i’m watching the 1st episode of ‘survivor’, and i thought, “maybe apicio is really on his way to join a reality show like survivor or the amazing race….”??? naahhh—he’s too cerebral for that…..

    Sep 26, 2008 | 8:46 am

     
  23. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    Apicio in survivor or amazing race? Apicio will win hands down with his Apicionism!!! hehehehe.

    Apicio, Have a great time in Brazil. Now remember be good, and if you can’t be good, be careful!!! hehehe

    Sep 26, 2008 | 9:08 am

     
  24. sometime_lurker says:

    I love After Eight, Apicio! Hmm.. Haven’t “Ovulation” yet, though! Hihi… Made me giggle.

    Well, I guess I’m an Apicionista!

    Sep 26, 2008 | 9:18 am

     
  25. Jenny says:

    No internet access where Apicio is going? He must be deep in the jungle, not on a beach. :)

    Sep 26, 2008 | 10:05 am

     
  26. Larees says:

    Hilarious! MM, is the book available at Powerbooks? Thanks!

    Sep 26, 2008 | 10:47 am

     
  27. miles says:

    bon voyage apicio!!! will miss your witty comments…

    Sep 26, 2008 | 12:58 pm

     
  28. kulasa says:

    Easter? Easter!!! Have fun Apicio. We’ll miss you but with the new book MM has we’ll probably be learning from him too. But I will be getting a copy of this book as well.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 1:20 pm

     
  29. lee says:

    in his months long absence he will be renamed “amicio.”

    Sep 26, 2008 | 1:25 pm

     
  30. melody says:

    now, that one is better lee! :)

    happy trip, Apicio.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 2:40 pm

     
  31. sylvia says:

    Apicio, how can you survive not reading Marketman’s articles for 5 long months?! As for me, I am going to miss reading your witticisms till Easter. Have a nice vacation!

    Sep 26, 2008 | 3:04 pm

     
  32. MarketFan says:

    amicio,too. have a great time in the land of string bikinis and havaianas.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 3:07 pm

     
  33. The Steak Lady says:

    LOL@Lee! good one, haha :))

    Have a great trip Apicio! ;-)

    Sep 26, 2008 | 7:43 pm

     
  34. Clarisse Aeaea says:

    My friend sent me a link to this blog, because apparently it’s about me. Well, indeed it is! My given name is Clarisse Aeaea, Aeaea derived by my literature-loving family from the Odyssey (where it’s only spelled with 5 vowels). Marketman, if you do name your restaurant Aeaeae, I’m here to be your model. :) Oh, and it’s pronounced A-YEA-YA, though in Greek you can read it as EE-EE-YA.

    Sep 26, 2008 | 11:18 pm

     
  35. betty q. says:

    Oh no!!!! First Silly Lolo is AWOL and then you will be away too?!? …We all will have to be the SURVIVORS!!!! Anyway, I am sure you will come back…”…tall and tanned and young and handsome…..” as the song goes!!!!

    Hey, bring your BLACKBERRY with you Apicio so we will not be in AMICIO mode!!!

    Hey, LEE…don’t go AWOL too now. OK?

    Sep 26, 2008 | 11:59 pm

     
  36. Mila says:

    Bon voyage Apicio! May your vacation be aeaeaen (or eeya-eeya-eeyan)!

    Sep 27, 2008 | 12:37 am

     
  37. estella says:

    i am sure that bettyquon will never go awol because she has always good suggestions when it comes to cooking….

    Sep 27, 2008 | 2:15 am

     
  38. lee says:

    betty q…. dontcha worry, I won’t go AWOL (Acerebral Without Online Life)

    Sep 27, 2008 | 8:12 am

     
  39. shalimar says:

    a good read on friday night alone here at the boat least I can have such a good laugh with out worrying the crew might think I have gone acerebral ;-)

    Sep 27, 2008 | 10:18 am

     
  40. betty q. says:

    This is by far the funniest post ever, MM! I am all alone here right now at home laughing my head off… Lee, I fell off my chair…lucky, I didn’t hurt my knee!!!

    Hey Artisan Chocolatier…I think you got something there…Yup, I can just see it now…APICIO and LEE on Amazing Race = PERFECT COUPLE!!! Apicio will navigate since he’s a jet setter and Lee will slow down the other competitors with his wit! They will have a stomachache and won’t be able to run!!!!

    Sep 27, 2008 | 1:34 pm

     
  41. natie says:

    uh-oh–if lee joins apicio in Amazing Race, they’ll both be missed—one at a time guys. hehe–will i see betty q at Rachel Ray’s or Martha Stewart’s show??…ako, sa Biggest Loser siguro…

    Sep 27, 2008 | 8:14 pm

     
  42. betty q. says:

    Oh, yeah Natie…what am I thinking!…Maybe Apicio and Silly Lolo…or Sister (jet setter/navigator) and Lee!…sounds more like it, eh?

    Sep 28, 2008 | 4:31 am

     
  43. wysgal says:

    5 months a year on Brazilian beaches? Now the promise of that is almost enough to make me sell my soul to the evil gods of investment banking so I look forward to retiring in style.

    Almost, but not quite. =)

    Sep 28, 2008 | 11:30 am

     
  44. bagito says:

    betty q, i agree, this is by far one of the funniest posts esp w/ all the comments from lee (apicionado! amicio! instant classics, pare) and all the other witticisms above. apicio, have a great vacation. like betty q said, bring your blackberry so we won’t be deprived of your apicionisms for far too long. :)

    Sep 29, 2008 | 10:08 am

     
 

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