The minute I opened this silly little book “The Superior Person’s Book of Words,” by Peter Bowler, and read the first page, the first person I thought of was Apicio, a marketmanila suki. I often look forward to Apicio’s comments as they always add something interesting, intelligent, positive and valuable to the conversations that follow a particular post. I know many other readers feel the same way I do and every time Apicio hies off for an extended period of tropical hibernation (albeit with mojito in hand) on some Brazilian beach for 5+ months out of the year, I get at least a dozen or two emails wondering if something horrible has happened to this celebrity status commenter. Though Apicio always sends me an email to take his leave privately, I figured I would write this post before he boarded his flight so that if he hadn’t yet read this silly little book, he could pick u a copy on the way to the airport… But then again, I have a funny feeling he would know 90+% of the words in this book.
To give you an idea of the entries in this book… and I quote:
“ABECEDARIAN INSULT, AN – ‘Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facilinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic napform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning zoophyte.’ Translation: ‘Sir, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, thick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellant, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life.’“
HAHAHAHA!!! Don’t you love it? Can you see Marketman frothing at the mouth screeching that insult in alphabetical order? :)
But better yet, for years I have tried to dream up a name for a mythical Marketman restaurant and every time I think of a name, it seems someone has already discovered and used it… Until I found AEAEAE. Yup, the only 6 letter all vowel word in the english language, according to Mr. Bowler. Pronounced “eye-eye-eye” according to this link, it could also be pronounced as “a-yea-ya” according to this link. Bowler defines AEAEAE as, and I quote, “Magic…the derivation is from Aeaeae, which was a surname of the legendary pig-fancier Circe and the name of a small island off the cost of Italy…” Isn’t it cool? The problem is it isn’t practical. I can’t imagine saying that word properly with a Cebuano accent, maybe “ee-ee-ee” or maybe “eeya-eeya-eeya”…Hahaha… But I do like the way it refers to a pig-fancier. And a reference to magic, food magic, that is. Maybe the restaurant could serve lechon and all things porky, infused with a special potion to keep customers coming back again and again…
And finally, when I feel the urge to utter the word STUPID, I will simply say “Oh my, are we being acerebral today?” One without a brain. :)