15 Jun2008

HFD1

It’s nice that there is a day to honor your Dad. And I was thinking of writing another reflective Father’s Day post like this one I wrote in 2006, and another in 2007. But I woke up in a jet-lagged daze this morning and opened our newspaper only to be bombarded with all of these feel good, oh aren’t they superhuman, I owe them everything articles on brilliant fathers out there and I realized, from a contrarian’s point of view, that not all father’s are the cat’s meow, God’s gift to humankind, or even deserving of a Hallmark card. What about folks this morning reading their paper who just couldn’t relate to all the niceties, who had simply wicked, outrageous, abusive, uncaring fathers? Some of the statistics are glaring. Abandonment, lack of support for childcare, food, shelter, education, etc. I could go on and on with this negative train of thought, but suffice it to say this: NOT ALL FATHERS ARE NECESSARILY SO GOOD. And to anyone that believes the opposite (that father’s can do no wrong, it’s unthinkable) what is your current address in lalaland? So there. We all have our pluses and minuses. But some are really more wicked than others. Ever wonder why the term “wicked step-mother is so much more in use than wicked step-father?” And we tend not to discuss bad fathers a lot. Possibly ashamed that having a lemon in the family reflects on the children themselves (not true at all), when the whole concept of chicken before the egg (or sperm, in this matter) is clear.

But we do expect a lot from our own parents, and frankly, since they decided to bring us into the world, they have serious obligations to their children as well. I write this because I suspect there is a fairly substantial percentage of folks out there who may not necessarily feel they won the lottery as far as one or more of their parents are concerned. And maybe, just maybe, to balance out all the feel good stories in the paper this morning, they should have included one that wasn’t so icing sweet and peachy keen. As for the view that apples or coconuts don’t fall far from the tree, and that all sons will eventually turn into their fathers, I say a big fat “baloney” to that. My own advice is to take the best qualities you observed and respected from your own ancestors, and improve on them wherever possible. If you happen to have an axe-murderer in your genealogy, turn that into outrageously good knife skills as a chef, or other such nonsense. And if you are contemplating having kids of your own, my own view is that being a father is one of the most difficult and challenging roles you will ever play, and if done right, the most rewarding in your entire lifetime. :)

Note: The t-shirt in the photo is one of my favorites at the moment. Whenever I used to have similar discussions with my mom at the lunch table and she decided she no longer wanted to continue and was ready to dismiss me lightly, she would quietly say with a smirk, “pilosopo”. :)

 

COMMENTS:

  1. Artisan Chocolatier says:

    From one pilosopo to another……HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!!!!!

    Have a good one MM!!!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 12:26 pm

     
  2. Vanessa says:

    Happy father’s day, Marketman!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 12:55 pm

     
  3. risa says:

    MM, reading that post, I note now that while you mention your mother a lot in the blog, there’s not a lot about your dad.

    I never truly got to know my father as a person until I was 18 when I spent 6 weeks with him on a ship without my mother or siblings to referee us. Everyone has faults, but I treasure that experience until now. (I’m 34.)

    Happy dad’s day to you!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 1:37 pm

     
  4. noemi says:

    Enjoy your day! Happy father’s day.

    Jun 15, 2008 | 1:56 pm

     
  5. presentacion says:

    HAPPY FATHER’S DAY MM!!! & TO ALL GOOD FATHERS!!!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 2:14 pm

     
  6. quiapo says:

    Points to Ponder:
    I wonder how many people believe they have been as good a father to their children as their father was to them!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 2:15 pm

     
  7. Trish says:

    It is always a delight to read about your posts on your family time — trips, pranks, birthday surprises etc. I am sure that you are Mrs MM’s and the Kid’s hero for all seasons. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, MR.MM!!!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 5:12 pm

     
  8. bambinawrites says:

    MM, I do find that a lot of these “holidays” have become trite and overblown. However, I am one of the fortunate ones as I have an exceptional father. But monster fathers are everywhere. Just think of that incestuous jerk in Austria Josef Fritzl and what he did to his daughter. what a sicko!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 5:18 pm

     
  9. Homebuddy says:

    Amen to your comments MM. Although I’m fortunate to have good parents, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are just something new,di ba? Perhaps these were created a few year’s ago, by merchandisers and entrepreneurs to cash in on the celebration. Hehehe.
    Happy Father’s Day!!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 6:59 pm

     
  10. leticia says:

    happy father’s day MM!

    and also to the father of my four wonderful children! though it’s not anymore possible to greet him directly.

    at least, because of him, i AM the mother of my kids.

    and so, i’d like to thank him, anyway.

    Jun 15, 2008 | 6:59 pm

     
  11. hpf says:

    thanks for this great post and your heartwarming note about the shirt and your mom. happy father’s day!

    Jun 15, 2008 | 8:18 pm

     
  12. kate says:

    happy father’s day market man! :)

    Jun 15, 2008 | 10:16 pm

     
  13. rianne says:

    HaPpY fAtHeR’s DaY!!!

    Jun 16, 2008 | 12:35 am

     
  14. dhayL says:

    Happy Father’s Day!

    Jun 16, 2008 | 3:00 am

     
  15. jules winnfield says:

    happy fathers day mm!!!

    what about that movie k-pax starring kevin spacey. i kinda like what humans are supposedly going to decide on 100 years down the road—> remove parenting. well it’s nothing i’ll maracas my pom-poms to, but the idea will certainly appeal to those who feel god got it all mixed up somehow when he gave away dads and dogs.

    Jun 16, 2008 | 8:50 am

     
  16. bernadette says:

    Belated Happy Father’s Day, MM!

    Here, where I live, I only have sub-zero for the parenting attitude of most people I observe. Blame it on their parents? Blame it on the fathers who have several common-law wives anyway or the wives who fool around too?–in front of the children! Or blame it on Ginebra, Tanduay and lambanog? Or plain hormones?

    On the brighter and hopeful side, there may be exceptions to the rule… although I’m still looking for these rare species :-(.

    Jun 16, 2008 | 10:12 am

     
  17. rocoi says:

    happy father’s day, MM and to all fathers around the globe!

    Jun 16, 2008 | 10:18 am

     
  18. JE says:

    Excellent shirt. And a belated Happy Father’s Day to you, too.

    Jun 16, 2008 | 1:06 pm

     
  19. elaine says:

    I was fortunate enough to have thanked my dad before he passed on last year…it put an unforgettable smile on face.. Belated happy father’s day to all you fathers out there!;)

    Jun 16, 2008 | 2:25 pm

     
  20. Larees says:

    Belated happy father’s day MM!

    Jun 16, 2008 | 4:44 pm

     
  21. navyGOLF says:

    As a papa of the first apo of 3yrs, all my Dad can think off now is his apo. I guess, I had my chance of being in the limelight and now its my time to give it back to my son. Belated Fafa’s day MM!!! And of course to all the Fafa’s out there (straight and not-so straight, joke! hehehe)

    Jun 18, 2008 | 5:31 am

     
  22. anna gan says:

    as the mom of a pilosopo, i think i’ll need to get a mini version of that shirt :)
    and as for not-so-desirable parental units, well, that’s what the rest of your relatives and friends are for.

    Jun 18, 2008 | 3:56 pm

     
  23. Blaise says:

    I am PILOSOPO.. Very well written MarketMan, very well.. =)

    Jun 20, 2008 | 6:37 pm

     
 

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