Carefully Match & Fondle Your Nuts…


Fondle two nearly identical genetically unusual nuts in your palms daily until they develop a patina from your body oils — it will extend your life by years or decades. It’s a shortcut explanation for a serious past time in China. I had no idea. I just noticed dozens and dozens of sellers of what looked like walnuts with elephantiasis or perhaps more accurately, varicocele or testicular varicous veins. The objective, I understand, is to find two identically matched weird walnuts, with similar markings, similar size, weight and feel. Then you spend the next 30 years fondling them until they develop this incredible patina and you can sell them for tons of money. Or you can leave them to a favorite grandson or granddaughter as part of their inheritance. If you are lucky, they may be good enough to be auctioned off at Sotheby’s. You can shortcut the process and buy already fondled nuts for a lot more money, but that doesn’t seem like as much fun, no? I was moving through the market quickly, and I didn’t stop to select two nuts for myself (seriously, I regret this now), but instead of following tradition and conventional wisdom, I think I would mirror reality more and opt for two slightly different and unique nuts instead, with one hanging lower on the left… hahahaha. Sorry, no offense to serious walnut collectors, I just needed a light moment. Gotta keep fondling those nuts. Patina, patina, patina. :)


10 Responses

  1. Copied from one of many articles on the subject. Trimmed to fit a nutshell:

    Rolling a pair of walnuts between palm and fingers—believed to improve circulation—has been a Chinese pastime for hundreds of years. Mainly the walnuts are good for the body, that’s why people play with them. Each one is unique, and becomes red as you play with it. It’s valuable as a collector’s item and for boosting brain fitness.

    Collectors are not interested in the edible kernel, but instead value its ridged brown shell. The pair with the most symmetrical pits and ridges bring the highest prices. Size—the bigger the better—and colour also play a role, with deeper browns more valuable.

  2. Probably a precursor to what a customer gave me, a pair of Chinese cloisonné therapeutic balls and pretty similar in effect to fiddling with a komboloi see here Looked it up and learned they are called baoding balls, used by twirling the two balls with the fingers over the palm of the same hand. It looked as though it might improve my right hand strength for playing the guitar so earnestly tried it more than a few times. Quit, could not get the hang of it.

  3. first you talk about being stoned, now we are talking about nut fondling.

    you naughty boy MM!

    Happy Friday let your hair down!

  4. MM, you may not have a green thumb but it doesn’t mean there’s nothing green in you! Ha!ha!ha!

    Footloose,we also have those chinese cloissone therapeutic balls from HK….good exercise for arthritic hands

  5. MM, just curious,with all the eating you did in China, and even streetfood at that, did any of you ever have the runs? Food safety has always been my concern about travelling to China.

  6. millet, nope, never once got sick. And I am sensitive to cooties and my system has an uncanny ability to jettison bad bacteria. Like supersonic. :) But yes, be careful…



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